


Servant of the People

by Kay_Albertina



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Development, F/M, Romance, Slavery, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:39:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kay_Albertina/pseuds/Kay_Albertina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was hurting, dragged into a situation she barely understood, having marked by some higher power, and everyone was expecting her to save them? She was a slave, a thing, yet they treat her like a hero? No, no this must be some cruel joke, the world cannot be saved by a lowly servant. Can it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surreal

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by a story written by Prodigal-san (yamiralikespotatoes), where the Inquisitor is not one with confidence, and shows major character development during the story. It got me thinking, what if the Inquisitor was first a slave? How would the events change? I will probably update slowly (I am a slow writer) and have no one to correct my English grammer mistakes (i.e. no beta), but I do have the major storyline planned out for this one (unlike my other stories). I hope you like it, please leave a comment and tell me what you think!

Her head hurt, she was cold and was slightly nauseous. And apparently she had passed out on the floor? What happened?

 

Groaning she tried to get up, only to notice that her hands were tide together. People were moving around her, whispering, noise of steel being drawn. They were glaring at her, _noticing_ her, which in itself would have been reason enough for concern. However, the sharp pain in her left hand was even more unusual. She turned it over, frightened when she saw the deep green gash in the middle of her hand. It looked like magic, but felt like a blade that twisted beneath her skin. No, no that can't be right. She would remember receiving such a thing.

 

She was still staring in horror at her own hand, trying not to panic, when two woman came into the room, clad in full armor. They were both frowning down upon her and she avoided their gaze. Something was terribly wrong, wasn't it? The last thing what she remembered was attending to her master, hearing him complain about one thing or another. Did she do something wrong? Come to think of it, where was her master? She should be at his side at all times.

 

“Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now!”, a sharp breath escaped her. _Kill her?!_ “The conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead. Except for you.” The woman glared at her and she started shaking. “M-my lady, I-I don't -”, but that was all she could get out. She was terrified. They were going to kill her for something she didn't do? The woman looked even deadlier when she took her left hand. “Explain _this_ ”, a sudden flash of green light seemed to emphasize the question and she whimpered in pain. “I-I can't my lady-”, “What do you mean you can't!?”, “I-I don't know what that is, or how it got there.”

 

She was pulled forward angrily and she flinched, closing eyes, expecting blows. “YOU'RE LYING!”, but then just as sudden she was released. “We need her Cassandra”. Her heart was beating painfully fast and she couldn't stop shaking. _All who attended were dead? Surely they were mistaken?_ But it would not do to ask questions. A slave does not ask questions. The other woman now approached her, more gently and kept her distance. Even though this woman seemed more friendly, she found she couldn't held her gaze. When she did not say anything, the woman asked “Do you remember what happened? How this began?”.

 

“N-no my lady, I was following the orders of my master. He wanted to have an audience with the Most Holy before the Conclave would start.” She remember how angry he was that he had to go to _her_ , and not the other way around. She was unsure what he had planned to get from such a meeting, but she expected nothing good. One minute they were walking in a hallway, the next moment was blank in her mind. “I-I am unsure what happened next. I remember being frightened, running from .. _something_ , and then .. a woman?”

 

“A woman you say?”, the woman was sharing a look with Cassandra, who seemed to have calmed down a bit, before turning back to her again, studying her. She however kept her eyes glued to the stone cold floor. She tried her hardest not to cry. _They will hurt you if you cry._ “Why would someone bring his _servant_ to the Conclave? What was his name?”. The way she said the word sounded like she did not believe for a minute she was a servant. She pretended not to notice the tone and tried to stop shaking, but to no avail. “M-master Talsan was invited, m-my Lady. Wherever h-he goes, I go”. Was the destruction of the Temple his idea all along? She would not have put it past him.

 

“Go to the forward camp Leliana, I will take her to the rift.”, Cassandra finally said. When Cassandra approached her, she flinched again. That lady looked so _angry_. However, the lady did not beat her, instead she unlocked her chains and dragged her outside. They were in some kind of basement, she noted, then up the stairs, then they were in some kind of church, though only soldiers were present. All were looking at them, no at _her_ , with hatred in their eyes. Cassandra was walking in a fast pace, and she had to make an effort to keep up with her. She did not dare to ask her anything. These people were superior to her, and she was clearly considered a prisoner. It was no surprise really that nobody asked her her name.

 

They came outside, her eyes watering from the sudden bright light, but Cassandra was not waiting for her to recover. She kept her eyes to the boots in front of her, shivering in the cold. Winter was her least favorite season, she could never handle the cold very well. And it did not help that her outfit was more chosen for showing the power of her master than for practicality. Then quite suddenly, there was a faint low noise thundering through the air, as though a bomb exploded from far away. At the same time, her hand starting hurting so much, she cried out and lost her footing. Green flashed out of her hand, like lightening, before it just as suddenly stopped. She gave a little sob, but quickly stopped when she saw the shadow of the angry lady in front of her, and then the ladies knees. “Are you alright?”, Cassandra asked in such a gently tone, she dared a glance to her face. The lady's face was now more concerned than angry. “I-I think so.. m-my lady”, she said softly, and Cassandra helped her up. When she stood once again, she chanced another glance to her guard, but then spotted the sky behind her. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she stared. _What .. the .. ?_

 

Cassandra turned around to look as well. “We call it the Breach, it is a massive rift that connects our world with the world beyond, with the world of demons”, she turned back to her. “It is not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave. The Breach grows larger with each passing hour, and with it, your mark as well”. She glared into her eyes now, and she felt that she should avert her eyes but just couldn't. All she could do was stare in disbelieve. A hundred questions sprang to mind, and she almost formulated one, but she kept quiet. Y _ou are a slave, do not question._

 

When she did not gave a verbal reply, Cassandra gave a deep sigh as though disappointed and motioned for her to follow. Now she felt the hateful stares from all the people surrounding them. At first she looked around a bit, looking for her master (it could not be true he is dead, right?), but noticing the glares she kept her eyes to the path just before her feet. She was going to die, she just knew it. _Maker have mercy, let my death be swift._

 

When they were at a large gate, Cassandra cut her hands free, and said, “Come, it is not far”. Without comment, she followed, shivering in the cold wind and nursing her freezing hands. Her mind was racing. It did not make any sense. They clearly thought she was responsible for all this, so why was she still alive? They must have a use for her yet, though she dared not ask what it was. Every few seconds her eyes would stare at the great green spiral in the sky.

 

Smoke and burned flesh, corpses were piled up in a line and blessed by a nearby priest. When they went over another bridge, something fell from the sky, destroying it under their feet and they fell. A cry stuck in her throat, she tumbled down onto the ice, rolling to break her fall. Then came the demons. She froze in shock. “Stay behind me!”, Cassandra ordered before rushing into the fight. But Cassandra did not notice the one materializing just in front of her. Her survival instinct kicked in and she backed away as fast as she could, but the ice was so slippery she could not get on her feet. By now the demon was straightening and making a terrifying deep noise in the back of his throat. He glided towards her, reaching out with his claw. Just before making contact, she rolled out of the way. Against a broken wagon. Grabbing it, she pulled herself up and tried to run for it, but lost her footing again. By now, the demon came for her a second time and she desperately took whatever her hand could find. Which turned out to be an old staff. Crying out, she used all her strength in the swing. It must have been luck, for she hit it right on the head and the demon was knocked out cold, twitching on the ice. She crawled further away from it, feeling the whole situation was surreal. It just couldn't be happening. Demons? A big green rift in the sky? Cassandra gave a cry when she finished her demon and quickly turned towards the other, which slowly seemed to come around. Cassandra rushed forward to kill it.

 

The prisoner heard the angry woman approach again. She really looked angry. “Give that to me!” Only then did she notice she was still clutching the staff. Which was now broken. Oh. Her hand was shaking uncontrollably when she offered the staff to Cassandra. Taking it, she threw it aside and looked at her again. Was that remorse or guilt on her face? She let out a long breath and said “I am sorry, in my haste I did not even consider you have probably never seen battle before”, she lowered herself to her level, “What is your name?”. _Mari-_ ”Ann, my Lady”, she said, barely audible. Cassandra nodded, than offered her hand and helped her up. “Come, we're almost there”

 

It took a few minutes before she got used to the slippery ice, but luckily Cassandra lowered her walking speed. She worried over the state of her cloths, if her master would see her in this state he would punish her ruthlessly for ruining them. It used to be a nice long green dress, with a few highlights around the middle, and was especially made for the Conclave. Now though there were stains, some blood even, and several holes. When she realized that her master was very likely dead and could not punish her even if he wanted to, she almost laughed in relief. Cassandra, luckily, did not notice her strange grin.

 

She was hurting at several places, and started to lose feeling in her pointy ears and finger tips. Rubbing her hands together, she followed Cassandra up some stairs, where they could hear fighting.

 

This time, she kept to the side line. Even watching it was terrifying, not only because two soldiers were mercilessly slaughtered, nor the eery green rift, but that a mage was part of the battle, even though he was part of our side. When the demons were dealt with, he all but ran towards her, shouting something and grabbing her hand. Then _pain,_ _like knives_ _ripping_ _through her skin_ _,_ _burning through her flesh_.

 

An eternity later, the rift closed and he released her hand. She staggered back, clutching her marked hand to her chest protectively. He looked at her with a glint in his eye and only then did she notice that he was a fellow elf. Bald, like her. The marked hand was still throbbing, but she could bare it. Again, a hundred questions were firing in her head, like why was she able to close that thing and what was that green thing anyway? But she formulated none.

 

When no one broke the silence, Cassandra said “Thank the Maker that worked!”, “Yes, seems I was correct after all”, the mage elf commented. “Good to know”, a deep voice behind her said, she turned around quickly, “here I thought we would be knee-deep in demons forever”. _Is that a .. dwarf?_ He was smaller than her, and smiling good naturally. “Name's Varric Tethras, rogue, storyteller, and on occasion, unwelcome tag-along”, he winked to Cassandra. _Was this man serious?_ He seemed to be waiting for a response though, so instead she said, “Nice to meet you sir Tethras. My name is Ann”. “You might want to reconsider that statement, in time”, the mage commented. “Ah, Chuckles, you paint me in the worst light to this young lady! Only thing I have done so far is to shoot some demons, you should be grateful! I will be a great asset in the valley.”. At this point, the angry lady intervened, “Absolutely not! Your help is appreciated Varric, but-”, “Have you seen the situation in the valley lately Seeker? Your men aren't in control anymore, you need me”, he looked her straight in the eye, unwavering, smug even. _So, he is not afraid of her?_

 

When Cassandra walked off in disgust, Solas stepped forward, “My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live.” and Varric added, “He meant, I kept that mark from killing you while you slept”. She looked at the mark again. It pretty much looked the same as before, still equally disturbing. “Thank you sir, you have my sincere gratitude”, she gave him a little bow. He didn't seem to approve of that however, judged from the small frown on his face. _Should I have called him Lord as well? Oh no, I didn't insult him did I?_ Before she could worry about it more, he turned towards Cassandra, discussing how to proceed.

 

She shivered in the wind, pulling the silky material of her dress further over her hands. Her toes were now starting to lose feeling as well. When the group moved out again, she followed quietly, keeping the questions to herself.

 

Up and up the mountain they went, they passed some broken wagons which had caught fire somehow. She longed to stop and warm up for a moment, but alas, the others didn't gave the fires a second glance and moved on. She hurried after them. Then, there was a second green tear in the sky.

 

Again, she stayed at the sideline, watching how Cassandra, Varric and Solas quickly dispelled the lingering demons. Then, “Quickly! Use the mark!”. Oh, right. Shivering, now both in apprehension and the cold, she approached the rift, strangely it had changed its shape. The thought that it would probably hurt crossed her mind, but she was given an order, so she lifted her left hand towards it. It immediately began hurting when it made contact with the rift. Somehow it was more manageable when she was in control though. _Is this what a mage feels_ _every time_ _they use magic?_ That was a bleary thought.

 

When she couldn't take it anymore, she pulled the hand away and, subsequently, closed the rift. Several soldiers were cheering. “Well done”, Solas said to her, slightly breathless. Ann glanced at him, it was not often that people complemented her work, though probably it was more said out of relieve than anything else. Still, “Thank you my Lord”. He looked at her now, slightly frowning again. _Damn, not a Lord then. How should I address him then?_ “I wouldn't assume so much. Please, Solas is just fine”, he told her, not unkindly. Wait, didn't everyone above her had a title? Before they could discuss it more, however, Cassandra motioned for them to follow.

 

By now, Ann desperately longed for thicker cloths or a fire. Preferably both of them. Ann glanced around the small camp, and it didn't take long to spot a small fire. It was surrounded by soldiers though. She bit her lip, doubting what to do, but then Cassandra took her by the elbow and dragged her in a different direction altogether. Her heart dropped a few inches in disappointment.

 

When they were near an arguing pair, they stopped and she vaguely registered the fact she already met this woman before. Cassandra was taking part in the verbal fight, but Ann could not follow, she started to feel weak, dizzy, and her vision was slowly going black. _Perhaps, I should sit down?_ She looked around, but there was nothing near her to sit on. Varric seemed to notice something was wrong, “Hey Ann, you're white as a ghost, you alright?”, “I-I'm fine ... just give me a second”, she muttered unconvincingly. Then she started to fall sideways, but Solas caught her. He said something sharply in a language she didn't understand. By now her vision had almost completely gone and she heard a weird noise in her right ear, as if she was listening to a fast flowing river underwater.

 

Before she fully processed what happened, they had moved her towards the fire. “Don't move”, Solas said, while he quickly went away again. She sighed in relieve when the warmth of the fire welcomed her. Her vision was slowly coming back now, though she still felt weak. The soldiers near the fire were muttering, clearly not amused that they had to share the fire with her. She tried to sit as near the fire as she could, shivering. Suddenly, she felt a large cloak of some thick material being dropped onto her shoulders. Then, a warm hand rested on her neck, touching the neck band she was wearing and heating her up further. A tingling sensation was traveling all down to her toes, waking them up. She gave a content sigh and closed her eyes, relinquishing the heat that traveled through her body. Then Cassandra joined them, “What's going on? We need to move”. Solas answered her, “She is _hypothermic_. I strongly advise her to warm up before we continue”. Ann looked at the angry woman, who was displeased again, “every minute we linger here, more people die in the valley! We need to move _now_!”

 

Her heart sank at the comment, _people were dying while they rested here?_. “I-I am fine my lady, really, we can go now if you like”, she said, more confident than she felt. “No”, Solas said sharply, his hand gripped her neck more firmly, “She is not well, you will draw her to an inch of death if you insist on moving out. Give it five minutes Seeker, I will make sure she is ready by then”. It seemed that the angry lady and the mage were doing a glaring contest, but in the end Cassandra relented, turning away in frustration. Varric whistled softly, “Chuckles, my opinion of you just increased”.

 

Solas ignored him however, he was looking for something in his bag. “Here, put this on”, he said, when he threw some pants in her direction. It was not in the best of shape, and too big for her as well. _Wait a minute, isn't this -?_ Her eyes widened at the thought and she opened her mouth to object. “Please Ann, just wear it below your dress. We need you to stay warm”, he gave her a stern look. She stared at him some more, but in the end did what her was told. “Woa, Chuckles, I didn't think anyone would get into your pants so fast, didn't think you had it in you”, Varric joked. Ann was avoiding their gaze, _they were doing this on purpose didn't they? Making her feel uncomfortable...._ Solas sighed wearily. “If you have a better suggestion master Tethras, I'm all ears”. Varric just teased him some more in response, while Ann struggled with getting the piece of cloths on.

 

Solas sat beside her when she was finished and put his hands at her cheeks and forehead. _How could he be so warm?_ He seemed satisfied with her temperature however, then checked her hands as well. “I do not have any gloves I'm afraid”, he commented. His eyes lingered on the arm bands she was wearing, frowning slightly. “T-That's alright”, she swallowed the urge to call him 'master Solas' or something along those lines. Instead she said, “Thank you”. “Don't thank me yet”, he answered. _Why not?_ She looked at him a bit confused, not daring to actually formulate the question in her head.

 

Varric walked over, “She does have more color again. Good thing too, thought she was ready for the grave just a moment ago”. Then Cassandra returned. Ann shrunk back in her cloak, trying to avoid her gaze.

 

“You've had 10 minutes, we are moving out _now_ ”, she said with authority. Varric sighed, but put Bianca back on his shoulder, “Always anxious to kill something, that Seeker”, he muttered, but they all followed her.


	2. Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you people for the Kudo's and comment ^.^ it gave me enough motivation to finish the next chapter a bit earlier than I had anticipated.
> 
> Note: No beta and English is not my native language (thank you spelling correction), I will edit the chapter for spelling/grammar error later on.

“ _Here Marianne, take this and put it in the hiding place. Go on, like we discussed earlier”, her mom was saying quietly, quickly looking over her shoulder to make sure they were alone. She always insisted to use her full name, not the shortened version the humans were using for her. Like they didn't even had the brains enough to remember._

 

“ _B-but what if they see me?”, she said, her voice trembling slightly. She was not as brave as her mother. Oh how she wished she was._

 

“ _Hé, they won't! For them, you are just part of the furniture, something insignificant. Just act your usual self, act like this is a task they gave you and you have every reason to be there. They will not even glance your way”, her mother was saying with full confidence._

 

_Like she had done it a million times before and knew exactly what she was talking about._

 

_Marianne gave a small smile and nodded. Yes, she could do this, she would report to Red Jenny about what happened. And their masters would know nothing about it._

 

_Her mother smiled in return, then added, “That's my girl. Just remember, whatever they will think of you, you will always be the most important person to me”._

 

\-----

 

Even with the cloak and extra clothing, it was freezing cold. Ann still felt weak, but pushed on, trying hard to keep up. It would not do to anger the woman further. By now she figured out they would need her hand, or the mark, to close the Breach in the sky. How that would work, she had no idea. But if a smaller tear in the sky could cause so much pain, how much would it take to close the Breach? Somehow she did not think she would survive it. Solas kept a close eye on her.

 

It didn't take long for them to arrive at, what seemed like, a battlefield. Rows of bodies were lined up at one side, the wounded on the other. The air smelled of smoke, ash and death. A rift was close by, Ann could feel her hand reacting to it and winched in pain. Several demons and soldiers were fighting, and it seemed like the soldiers were losing. Several people fell, dead, to the ground. These demons were bigger than before, big green monsters with slender arms and legs, like insects.

 

“Glad you brought me now Seeker?”, Varric called to Cassandra, when he took aim. Ann kept back, observing. One of the demons struck down a soldier, a big man with blond hair took it down from behind, saving the soldier's life. The Seeker rushed towards one of the bigger green monsters. Where was the other one though?

 

Then she noticed the ground beneath her feet had turned green. She quickly jumped out of the way, just when the other monster magically came out of the ground, as if it was made of water. It _screamed_ and she was paralyzed in fear. “No!”, Solas screamed, then the creature was frozen in place, Ann staggered back. But somehow more demons now saw her as a target, could it be the mark? She ran, adrenaline rushing through her veins, the cloak flapping behind her. She needed a weapon, anything, fast! She spotted a sword near a fresh corpse on the ground. Not looking at the open eyes and blood, she grabbed it and turned around to face the demons. Two of them advanced on her, she tried to back away, but almost tripped on the cloak. Her heart was beating painfully fast, they were almost upon her now. _Have courage,_ her mother's voice was whispering in her head, but she didn't feel courageous at all. Shaking, she tightened the grip on her weapon. This was not going to end well, but she had to try didn't she? What choice did she have?

 

At the last moment, she dogged to the side, narrowly missing claws of the first demon, slashing the demon in the side. She was not so lucky with the second one however. She cried out when the claws ripped open her shoulder and upper arm. She fell down on the hard floor, sharp rocks cutting through the cloak. Then a man came to her rescue. He taunted the two demons, distracting them from her, and just as sudden they noticed her, they lost interest, instead pursuing the soldier. Ann was clutching her wound, breathing heavily and weapon forgotten. _Fuck fuck fuck_ , she cursed in her head. _Stupid, stupid, I should have moved_ _faster_ _, why didn't I move quicker?_ , she scolded herself.

 

Then, “Don't just sit there, get back! And drink this!”, the same man as before was dragging her to her feet without ceremony (Ann had to clench her teeth not to cry out in pain), then gave her a bottle with some reddish liquid inside. She looked from the bottle to him, and stared. He was tall, sharp eyed and looking fierce, though something about him made her not so afraid as she should be. She also noted he was wearing a more elaborate armor than most of the other soldiers around. He quickly looked her over, before gesturing with one hand for her to go to safety “Drink up and get back!”, he repeated, then rushed back into the fight. It took her two tries before she could open the bottle, her hands bloody (her own? She shivered at the thought), then drained the content. It had a strong flavor of elfroot, which was not too unpleasant. Almost at once, her wound began to heal, a strange feeling of flesh that was knitting itself together. Shuddering, she retreated, her arm still throbbing, but not so much as before.

 

Only when the second wave of demons had gone, and the strange green slash in the sky changed its shape, did she came out of her hiding place. “Close it, quickly!”, Cassandra was yelling at her. She rushed to obey. Her shoulder still raw from the demon's claw, she pushed her left hand towards the rift. It connected immediately, and she gritted her teeth. Now her whole arm felt like it was on fire. She managed to close it however, and Solas stepped forward to check on her. “Sealed as before, you are getting quite proficient at this”, he nodded in approval, then he went to check on her shoulder. She stiffened at his touch, observing him warily, but not daring to object. _He help you earlier, he will not hurt you now,_ she tried to reason with herself, though she did not completely believe it. She flinched when he used magic to heal the remaining damage, banishing the pain and leaving her skin as though untouched. She stared in wonder. There was not even a scar left!

 

“Thank the Maker you arrived, I thought there would be no end of them”, a soldier, the one who helped her before, said to Cassandra, panting heavily. “Don't thank me Commander, the prisoner here is the one who closed the rift.” The Seeker looked at her with a small smile on her face. The Commander now turned to her, “Is it? I hope they are right about you, we spend a lot of effort getting you here”, he frowned at her, as though doubting she was worth it. She quickly averted her gaze. _I would doubt me as well, considering how bad I can defend myself_ , she swallowed. “I hope I will not disappoint my Lord”, she answered.

 

“Ah Mouse, not everyone who is bigger than you is a Lord you know!”, Varric teased her. She looked at him in confusion, unsure how to respond. _Mouse?_ Cullen considered her for a moment, before saying, “Well, let's hope so, for all our sakes”, before turning back to Cassandra. “Go ahead then, I''ll be there in a minute”. He glanced to Ann once more before walking off to help an injured soldier. Ann looked at his retreating back. He seemed to care about people. She liked that. They continued towards the Temple.

 

The further they went, the more surreal the whole scene became. Ash, black rock, burned twisted bodies that still _burned_. You couldn't even recognize whether they were male or female anymore. She tried not to stare, following Cassandra's boots instead. She adjusted the cloak to cover herself better against the freezing wind, only to notice that a large hole at her left shoulder. She checked her dress below and noticed it was partly torn as well, giving the wind easy access. _Well, at least my arm is still on there_ , shuddering, she quickened her pace.

 

“The temple, or what is left of it”, Varric muttered behind her, when they turned the last corner. Had she really been here before? She couldn't recognize the place at all. The spiral in the sky was huge this close. Rocks were floating in the sky, though it was eery silent. Her hand was sputtering every now and then, but Ann was used to the pain now and hardly flinched. Yes, she could deal with pain alright. “The Breach is a looong way up”, Varric was saying, and Ann could not help but agree.

 

In the meantime, more soldiers arrived, together with Leliana and the Commander. She was not following the conversations, instead staring in wonder at the sky. Then the Angry Lady asked her, “This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?”

 

She stared at her, knowing that she should say 'yes', but feeling anything but ready. Instead, she said, “I'm sorry, but what is the plan exactly?”, trying to bide time. Time for what? No idea.

 

Then Solas came to her rescue. “That rift was the first, and it is the key. Seal it, and perhaps that is enough to seal the Breach”. Could it really be that simple? Ann wondered. Cassandra obviously thought so, for she immediately suggested that they would find a way down. Without having a choice, she followed.

 

Somehow it was warmer here, maybe due to the lack of wind? They passed some red crystals that were radiating heat. Varric hissed, “You know this stuff is red lyrium Seeker?”. Ann looked at it curiously. She had read about it in some book or another. Didn't it drive people mad? “I see it Varric”, Cassandra answered curtly. “But what is it doing here?!?”, asked Varric, sounding scared. “The Breach could have drawn lyrium from under the temple, corrupted it”, Solas helpfully put it. “Arg, whatever you do, don't touch it!”. Ann took those word to heart and took the long way around the next few red crystals.

 

They were now getting nearer to the center. _Now is the time for me to die_ , she thought darkly.

 

As though responding to her thoughts, a dark voice boomed in the left-over temple, “Now is the hour of our victory. Bring forth the sacrifice”. It didn't really seem to come from anywhere. Ann froze, scared to the bone. _Am I the sacrifice?_ She was not the only one shocked. “What are we hearing?”, the Seeker said. “Maybe the one who created the Breach?”, Solas wondered aloud, urging Ann forward again. She continued walking, still looking around for the source of the voice.

 

“Keep the sacrifice still”, the same voice was saying, as though looking at an interesting sample. It sounded just like one of her master's sons, getting ready to punish her. She shuddered.

 

“Someone! Help me!”, a woman cried this time. Again the voice came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. “That is Justinia's voice!”, Cassandra exclaimed with emotion. Ann's heart lifted. Maybe she's not dead?

 

A sound of a door opening echoed through the crater, then “Most Holy, Marquis Talsan wishes to-”, her own voice was saying, then a sharp intake of breath, followed by, “What the- what's going on here?!”, who was unmistakably her (former?) master. It sounded like a déjà vu. _Was she really there?_

 

Then the vision came. Most Holy was trapped, held by imaginary forces, and intimidated by a dark figure with red eyes. Ann in the image was staring at the scene, shocked, her master was not better off.

 

“Run while you can! Warn them!”, Justinia said to them, Talsan retreated several steps, obeying the order without thought. But the Ann in the vision stood her ground, her eyes narrowing.

 

“We have intruders”, the dark figure said lazily. “Kill them!”, then the vision dissipated.

 

Ann was almost hyperventilating. She was really there? And the Most Holy gave her an order. And she had _refused_. At some point she noticed the Seeker was demanding answers she could not give, but Solas came to her rescue again.

 

Turned out they first had to open the damn rift before they could close it. Magic was weird.

 

“Stand ready!”, Cassandra said. Several archers were surrounding the scene. Soldiers were standing in a half circle, with Ann and Cassandra near the middle. The Commander advanced several steps, standing next to Cassandra, tense but self assured. Ann looked around, waiting for orders.

 

Then Cassandra nodded, and she lifted her hand towards the rift. It did not feel that much different compared to the other rifts, except that this time instead of closing, it released a wave of magic, knocking her backwards.

 

A massive monster materialized out of thin air, paralyzing Ann with fear. Several arrows hit the monster, but it just shrugged it off, seemingly unaffected. It gave a great roar, and Ann could finally move her legs. She ran for it, while Cassandra and the others were running in the opposite direction.

 

They were at if for several tense minutes, but it was not looking good. Several soldiers had been fried by lightening, while others had severe claw wounds. And still the demon was looking strong. Ann looked around in desperation. She had to do _something_. Damnit, why didn't she had a weapon!?

 

The monster lashed out with one of its big claws, which the Commander dodged too late. He flew halfway over the battlefield, before crashing into one big boulder. Several soldiers nearby lost heart after that move, retreating several steps, while Cassandra only fought harder. The monster was laughing darkly and slowly making his way to him. _No no no,_ Ann thought, _he is going to die!_ She looked over the rest of the battlefield, _we all are_ , she realized. Her eyes then went to the rift, that was slowly swirling in the air. What if she tried to close it now? Without the monster knowing? She was a nobody, an elf even, the monster will not even look at her, right? Her eyes set in sudden determination, she moved quickly closer towards the rift.

 

Ignoring the voices of Solas and Varric, she lifted her hand and it made contact. Would she be able to close it? She didn't think so, this rift was resisting her like there was no tomorrow. But something was changing in the rift, while in her hand there was a steady build up of pain. The monster seemed to know something was happening, for it suddenly stopped moving towards the Commander, instead it turned on the spot and looked right at her. It lifted an arm, intending to shoot a sphere of electricity at her. It was too late however, the rift released another wave of magic, and the monster was knocked down. Ann was clenching her teeth together, clutching her hand at her chest. Damn that hurt. It didn't close the rift, nor the Breach, but it did seem to help matters. Ann felt slightly proud of herself.

 

“Now!”, Cassandra screamed, and all the soldiers charged. Ann turned to look, it didn't take long now to destroy the demon, thank the Maker. With a great roar, it fell on the ground and moved no more. Drenched in blood, Cassandra moved towards her “Now, seal the rift! Do it!”, she said. Ann rushed to obey. Like before it resisted her, and pain was steadily building in her hand, creeping all the way up towards her shoulder now. She tried not to focus on the pain though. Instead, she tried to imagine the rift closing under her will. If she was going to die today, she better leave behind the world in a better shape than she found it.

 

No one should be fearing for their lives like she had today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first thought I would make it a bit longer, but I think the end of this chapter is a nice place to stop. Let me know what you think, your opinion is much appreciated!


	3. Akward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back with another chapter! The waking up part in Haven after stabilization of the Breach! Thank you everyone who gave kudo's on this work! I really appreciate it and I hope you will like this next chapter as well.
> 
> note: Not Beta'd and English is not my native language. I will correct typo's when I see them.

_Ann was walking fast down the hallway, smiling. She had finished for the day! In fact, the master was in such a good mood today that he gave all the servants the evening off!_

 

_The kitchen was in the best spirits after dinner, all smiling, relaxed, before they retreated to a more secluded space. It didn't take long for the first notes of a flute to fill the room, followed by beat made on a barrel. Ann rushed to get the guitar she had made herself, joining the music._

 

_Julie was dancing with her children, laughing when one of the toddlers almost fell over, while Bernd joined with another barrel and started to sing some lyrics. How he could make them up as they went always amazed her. The cook was dancing with one of the gardeners, her face bright red, but smiling. Paul was trying to persuade Mary to dance with him. Mary, giving a shy smile, finally took his hand and joined the party, while her mother was standing on the side, observing with a gentle smile on her face._

 

_It was one of the best evenings ever._

 

\-------------

 

Warmth was surrounding her from all sides, it was a nice safe feeling.

 

Ann lazily opened her eyes, only to widen them in shock. _It was already wayyy past noon! Damn my master is going to be furious!_ She got up immediately, hastily looking around for her cloths. Only .. they were not there. Instead, a thick cotton shirt and light brown pants were lying on top of a desk, a long leather coat was dragged over a chair. They were of fine quality, not the sort that she usually wore. _Those are not for me, are they?_ _No, probably they are for my master or something_. She walked over to study them. No, they couldn't be for her master, they were not the right size. They were too slim for humans, now that she really thought about it. Could it really-?

 

_CRASH_

 

“O-oh!”, an elven servant was standing uncomfortably in the doorway, “I-I didn't know you were awake I swear!”.

 

“Oh, don't worry about it, I was only-”, Ann was gesturing vaguely towards the cloths she was inspecting, but then was astonished when the servant went into a deep bow and talked from the ground. “I ask your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant. You are back in Haven, my Lady”.

 

Ann froze, _what? Did she just called me-?_ “They said you saved us! The Breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. If is all what people could talk about in the last three days!”.

 

“Three-,what-, ehm?”, she stammered stupidly. It was too much information to take in, not just what the fellow elf was saying, but her strange behavior towards Ann as well. She was still kneeling on the ground, but now tentatively stood up again. “Lady Cassandra would like to talk to you as soon as you've wakened. She said, at once!”.

 

“Yes, right, of course”, Ann said distractingly. An order, that she could handle. Before she could say much more, the other elf was talking again, “She at the Chantry, with the Lord Chancellor. At once she said!”, then hurried out of the room.

 

 _Right_ , Ann thought, looking around the room, _so I have been out of it for three days?_ Sure enough, there was a report about her 'condition' on the table nearby. Tentatively, she looked at the mark on her hand. It looked .. stable, less green. And it wasn't hurting, not quite. It felt more like an itch.

 

Feeling that she shouldn't keep Cassandra waiting, she started to dress and wash herself. Hopefully she didn't misinterpret the cloths, it would be very embarrassing if she did. What was she to do in them? Travel? Field work? She couldn't quite pin it down. When she was finished, she checked her reflection in a mirror and started.

 

Her light blond hair was longer than half an inch. She should shave it off, she's not allowed to let it grow that long! Looking through the content on the desk and in several drawers, Ann couldn't find anything to shave with though. And she shouldn't keep the humans waiting either. Ow what to do, what to do? _On the other hand, that servant just now had quite long hair as well_ , Ann tried to reason, _maybe they are not as harsh here?_ She was chewing her lips, trying to come to a decision. Damn it, she was wasting time here! She quickly took the comb from the table and tried to make her hair look more flat. Then she rushed out of the door before she lost her nerve.

 

There was a crowd waiting for her outside. And they all seemed to be looking at her in awe. What was going on? She scanned the faces of the people gathered, but did not recognize any of them. Also, they blocked the path towards the Chantry. What was she going to do? Several tense seconds past before suddenly, “Ow for Andrasta's sake, make room! Give her some space!”, A deep voice was saying, and the Commander pushed himself forward. The crowd started to mutter, but did what he ordered. The staring match now broken, Ann turned towards him instead and curtseyed, “Commander”. Without all the blood and dirt, he looked really handsome.

 

“Good to see you are awake, my Lady, I'll escort you to the Chantry. How are you feeling?”, Commander said, looking her up and down before focusing on her eyes. She looked away and stared at the ground instead. Why was she suddenly a 'Lady'? “I-I'm fine Commander. It came to my attention Cassandra wants to see me as soon as possible.” Hopefully he would get the hint and stopped talking. Talking to nobles was dangerous, too much chance of offending them and then get punished for it.

 

He chuckled softly, “Yes, that she does”, he turned to leave and offered her his arm to take. Ann stared, taking in his posture, not fully understanding what he wanted. A noble never _never_ offered to walk with her before, and yet he offered it like she was an equal. Should she take his arm? Did he really want to be seen so publicly with her (the crowd was still there after all)? Yet he started to look a little embarrassed, clearing his throat and move his arm away.

 

She put her hand in his elbow, not looking at him, her face feeling hot. _Please please let me not have made the wrong decision._ The Commander let out a small breath (if she was not standing so near, she would have missed it), and started to walk. She followed suit.

 

Several people were whispering as they passed. She caught the words 'Andraste' and 'Herald', but not much more. She wished they would stop staring.

 

“The people here are impressed with what you have done, you have given them hope they desperately needed”, he commented after a minute or so. Ann glanced at him before looking at the ground again. He was scanning the crowd, as if looking for trouble. She wished he wouldn't try to talk so familiarly with her, it made her feel nervous. As though she didn't feel nervous enough as it was. He was clearly expecting an answer though, so she said, “I'm glad I could be of use”. This probably meant she was no longer a suspect. Right?

 

Finally, they arrived at the Chantry, where the Commander left her. He actually gave a small bow as goodbye, leaving her just inside the building. Ann felt her face heat up while she advanced further inside.

 

\-------------------

 

She stared over the frozen lake in melancholy. It didn't make any sense. _She_? The Herald of Andraste? A holy figure to rescue the people from demons? Surely they were mistaken, the Maker would not choose a lowly elf, a slave even!, as its Herald? The stares from the people around her proved otherwise however, they all seemed to believe Cassandra's pretty speech about her being their only hope.

 

Also, she _did_ stop the Breach from growing didn't she? She lowered her head on her knees, groaning. This was all too much, far too much. She just wanted to go home, even though that would mean a life in slavery. At least she had friends there.

 

And to make matters worse, all the tasks that she would have been good at, were already taken care off. She was not even allowed to wash her own cloths! All she could was serve people, how was she going to do that now? Just what did they expect of her? What was she to do? Sure, they were going to start 'soon', according to the Seeker, but what did that mean? What was going on??? She desperately wished that she was allowed to ask questions, for she started to feel stressed every moment of the day just from not knowing.

 

So far, it has been utterly confusing, and lonely, being the 'Herald'. The servants were too scared of her, and then to think _she_ is a slave, while _they_ have their freedom. What is there to be scared for? She didn't have any choice, something that Cassandra and Leliana hinted at. Sure, she could go back to her life of slavery (surely she was now the property of one of the Master's sons by now?), but they could not guarantee her safety. And surely, she also wanted to close the Breach in the sky? She stared at it, feeling defeated. She wasn't even sure the Seeker or Leliana knew that she was actually a slave. Ann hadn't mentioned it. _But then again,_ Ann thought, played with her wrist band absentmindedly, _maybe they guessed already_.

 

Then someone approached her. “Ah, there you are! I have been looking all over for you!”. She blinked, surprised, before saying “I'm sorry Master Tetras, I didn't mean-”, “Ah no! Stop apologizing like you did something wrong! Geez! Sometimes you can make it look like even breathing is a sin! It's impressive really”.

 

He sat beside her, “Besides, I think you needed the time alone. You go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful! Most people would have spread that out on more than one day”, he looked for a reaction, but she just stared ahead, digesting what he was saying. It all had happened rather quickly didn't? It felt like all the events were only just catching up with her, and she couldn't handle the implications just yet. She didn't even know if she had other obligations still. Her former Master should have passed her down to one of his sons in a will or something. Shouldn't she go back and do her duty? But wasn't she needed here more?

 

“Are you holding up alright?” Varric prompted her. She glanced at him, before looking ahead again, “I'm .. ok Master Tetras”.

 

“Ah, maybe physically yes, nothing wrong with you. That was not what I meant however.”

 

“I-I ... “, she trailed off. She wondered what he expected from her. The truth? Some lie so he could sleep better at night? It was always difficult to tell with these people above her station. But he did ask, and it seem like he wanted an honest answer. She tried again, “I- no, you're right my lord”, adding the last two words out of habit, she looked at him sideways, apprehensive for his reaction, but he only nodded in encouragement. “It's all a bit much, I don't know what everyone is expecting of me. I'm unsure what to do.” she finished lamely. “Well, you could always start with skipping the 'lord' part, or 'master'. I am as much a lord as you are.”

 

She stared at him. Was he serious? “Tell you what, how about you tell me what your typical day used to look like. Maybe we can figure something out from there”, Varric suggested.

 

And so it happened that Ann told him how she used to work for her former master. She had done all kinds of jobs, from repairing cloths, cleaning and cooking, to helping preparing tonics, saddle horses and writing letters. In truth, her former master wasn't so bad, it was the sons that she was scared about. Not that she would admit that to Varric though, he might be nice, but still. Nobles are not to be trusted on face value.

 

Varric listened to her attentively, asking questions at the right places. When Ann was finished, he commented “Sounds like you can do loads of different stuff. So what do you do in your spare time?”, she blinked. No lord or noble ever ask her that question before. How should she answer?

 

He raised an eyebrow, then when he received no answer, he sighed and reformulated his question. “Like, what do you do to spend time with your friends? Do tell me you had some”. She frowned, “Well, yes”, they would gossip of course, about the scandals in the house, whether the mistress of the master was already replaced with someone else, when the lady of the house would finally notice, that sort of thing. “We would .. talk about the days events”, she finally said. Or they would play some music on make-shift instruments, read stories from the master's library (without permission she might add), or break the rules in some other small ways. Ah, she would never admit that at loud, naturally.

 

“Just talk? I see.” Varric said, “Well, I still think we should start with finding you some hobbies or something. It doesn't sound you enjoyed yourself nearly enough.” She quickly looked at him, “I enjoy my work!” she said perhaps a little too loudly, her heart beating a little faster from her sudden outburst. “Ah really? I could have sworn your story lacked a certain .. enthusiasm”. She quickly looked away, her face growing hot for some reason she could not fathom. She _did_ enjoy it when she did something others appreciated. She liked to be useful, though the last few months have been lonely. She was the only servant of the house joining her Master to the Conclave.

 

“You know, even though people around here will say that they do not want to bother you with their problems, you will be surprised how much you can help these people with just listening.” Varric said with a glint in his eye.

 

Ann was not completely sure what he meant with it, but decided to give it a try. This noble did not seem like the others, being a dwarf and all, maybe he was alright?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like it when Cullen get's akward, don't you? Please let me know what you think! Your oppinion is very much appreciated.


	4. Don't ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope this Chapter is not too boring, I just had these ideas about how Ann would react to the introductions to some people in Haven. I think it gives some more background on how her is as a character and well, it was fun to write :).
> 
> Note: No one to correct my spelling or grammar. Please feel free to correct me in the comments (and to give your opinion on the story)

_Don't ever ask questions. That was rule number one in the house. If the Master ordered you to do something, do it. Do. Not. Question. In the rare cases she had asked, a slap in the face was the minor kind of punishment she had gotten._

 

_Luckily, along the other slaves, they could whine and ask a thousand things. And her mother knew a great deal of things. She taught her how to read and write, and how to read maps. And also what to do to survive, should they ever escape the house they were in._

 

“ _Here”, she would say. “one day we will go there and be free, you'll see”. She would get this sad but determined look on her face. Ann was not sure if she believed that though. They were here for years already, as long as she could remember in fact, why would they leave? They had a reasonable good life here, why risk the change of getting caught, punished or worse, be killed for trying to get something better? She wasn't even sure what being 'free' would actually mean.  
_

 

_She knew better than to formulate those questions, however, so instead she asked, “What will we find there?”._

 

_Her mother turned to her, a soft smile on her face, “A shem-free place, where family will welcome us home”._

 

_\---------------------------------_

 

 

“You really think- I-I mean, ehm”, Ann tried to ask. _Damn, how do get the information you want without actually asking_ _for_ _it?_

 

“Yeah I'm sure Mouse, don't you worry, I'm a professional with these kind of things! Together with Hawke, we helped a great deal of people! Maybe later I'll tell you some stories about him”, Varric said with a great deal of confidence. Ann looked at him curiously, what kind of person was this dwarf to have helped the general public? And with the hero of Kirkwall even! She had heard the gossip and farfetched stories. Was he really a part of that? Who was he? He did not seem to be a servant, nor a noble given his manners and clothing, a merchant perhaps? Varric did not elaborate on what kind of stories, however, instead he pointed to a woman near a tent.

 

He had suggested for her to go to Threnn first. She would know what the people needed. Threnn was a serious kind of woman, with no laugh wrinkles in her face, looking stern. She seemed rather busy to Ann, and she hesitated, but Varric edged her on, nodding in encouragement. Did she really agreed to this? What was she thinking? Disturbing people on purpose?

 

“Ow come on Mouse! She won't bite!”, he gave her a little push. Ann felt a bit annoyed at that, _and why did he called her 'Mouse'?!?_ , but instead of frowning at _him_ , she frowned at the ground. Ann sighed, but pooled whatever what was left of her courage and approached the woman.

 

Before she could say much though, Threnn interrupted her, “Here you have a bucket and a broom. Go clean the cabins over there. If anyone calls you 'knife-ear', come to me”, and then returned her attention back to the papers in front of her.

 

“Y-yes my Lady”, Ann stammered, taken aback, but actually rather glad she was given a direct order for a change and turned to leave, bucket and broom in hand. Varric was shaking his head, actually _chuckling_ , and was about to intervene when Threnn did a double take and called out.

 

“Miss? Wait!”, Ann returned halfheartedly. “You're her! You are the Herald, aren't you? I'm Threnn, I do whatever I can to supply this mess, Inquisition, whatever you wanna call it”. She went on to explain about the requisition list and how people could help by sharing what they found. Could be all kind of things, depending on what people needed.

 

Ann listened attentively, and without thinking asked, “So if I find something that could be of use-”, but then she realized what she was doing and shut her mouth, turning red. “You can bring it to me”, Threnn finished for her, “If I'm not present, just leave it at the table over there, my men will find it.”

 

“Yes, I will, thank you my Lady”, Ann said. “Just Threnn will do Herald, may the Maker watch over you”, she put her right hand on her chest in salute, before returning to her duties. Ann felt a bit dazed.

 

She was still not used to the title. Heck, that she even _had_ a tittle was already overwhelming.

 

“Now, that wasn't so bad was it?”, Varric asked her. Ann glanced at him, before looking at the requisition list. “It was alright, though I wouldn't have said no against the bucket either”, Ann commented. She waited for his reaction, if he was really a merchant, than she could be herself. To some degree of course.

 

“Ha! Josie will not approve you doing cleaning shores! She will have my head!”, Varric commented with a big smile on his face. Ann turned her eyes on him. He really was rather short. It made her feel more confident than she probably should. “Josie?”

 

“Yeah, Josephine, you will meet her in time, don't worry”, he said, then motioned for her to follow him again.

 

\-----------------------------

 

“The Herald of Andraste, the blessed Hero send to save us all”, Solas greeted them. Ann blinked at him. What kind of greeting was that? How should she answer? Oh no she was taking too long to answer didn't she?!?

 

“He Solas, don't scare her like that! I finally got her to talk! A little”, Varric said. “Well, it is what everyone here calls you, you know. I was wondering what your thoughts are on the matter”, Solas clarified. Ann noted that he asked a question, without _actually_ asking the question. She should copy that trick from him.

 

“I-I .. well .. that is to say”, she said, trying to buy time. Instead of thinking what she herself thought on the matter, she thought about what _he_ would probably like to hear. Though, she didn't know him enough to guess...

 

“I-I'm not sure?”, she finished lamely. Varric chuckled again, while Solas studied her, his face a mask. She looked away from his eyes. “It is an impressive title, regardless whether it is true or not, it gives people here a lot of hope”.

 

“Regardless- What? You don't believe she is chosen by the Maker Chuckles?”

 

“I believe in cause and effect, child of the stone”, he seemed to weigh his words carefully. Ann looked at him curiously. “For all manner and purpose, she is now the Hero to save us from doom. Does it really matter whether she is chosen or not?”

 

“Well, I would sleep easier at night if it were”, the dwarf muttered.

 

The mage looked at the two of them, before suggesting, “It is rather cold, don't you think? Let's move this conversation inside”, then he turned to the nearest cabin. His own cabin, apparently.

 

“You know Chuckles, it is very cute that you worry, though you must have realized that she is better protected from cold nowadays.” Varric said, motioning to her cloths, but following Solas anyway. Ann looked down at the cloths. Of course his comment was completely true, only her ears were feeling cold, while the rest of her body stayed nicely warm. She blushed when she remembered the pants from Solas that she had worn the other day.

 

The mage closed the door behind Ann, than turned towards her. For some reason, she felt like she was being scanned, analyzed. She avoided his gaze again, instead looking around the room. There was a neatly made bed and several cabinets filled with books. There were also a lot of books on a nearby desk, and ink, and even more notes. It seemed like he did a lot of work here. In fact, the room smelled like parchment. Ann followed Varric towards the middle of the room, where there was a carpet. It looked cozy. Then her eyes found the guitar resting near the desk and she stared. It was an actual guitar! Not a make-shift thing she made. Oh how long ago since she played! She could use the distraction a lot right now. Did the mage play music in his free time as well?

 

Solas cleared his throat and Ann turned towards him instead. Varric in the meantime sat down on Solas his bed.

 

“S-sir, thank you again for- ehm”, she began, struggling with the words, but he waved away the rest of her sentence. “Please, don't mention it. It was the least I could do. I must say that the attire you wore was really unsuited for the journey. We should all have realized sooner you needed better protection”. He frowned at the thought. Varric made a sound of agreement, saying “I guess that was why the Seeker gave us the _luxury_ of 10 minutes near the fire. Seems like even she can feel guilty after all”.

 

“In case you still need it”, Solas continued, “your dress is right here”, and he gave her the dress she had worn. Or rather, what was left of it. “The servants cleaned it best they could, but I'm afraid it is ruined”.

 

Varric commented, “That's a shame, but well, nice cloths are one thing, but freezing in them? Doesn't sound right to me”. One of his legs was swinging lazily. “Yes, well, fashion is hardly ever practical Master Tetras”, Solas said. “Hah! Like you would know! Have you looked at some of your cloths lately?”. Solas just stared him down in response.

 

During their conversation, Ann investigated the clothing in her hands, looking with an experts eye to the fabric. Yes, the dress itself was ruined, but the fabric was still fine. How did they get all the blood out of it? She scanned it with her eyes, estimated how much fabric could be salvaged from it, before folding it. “Thank you sir”, she said.

 

Solas was now staring at one of her wrist bands. “You have some intriguing jewelery Herald. Would you mind telling me where you got them?”

 

The semi lie came easily, “They were my mother's sir”. One brow raised in question, Solas came closer, extending one of his hands. “May I?”.

 

Ann hesitated. She should say 'no', she was commanded to say 'no', they were not suppose to find out. At that thought, the bands began to tingle her skin in warning. “I-I .. I rather ...”, but she couldn't seem to finish the sentence.

 

“Come on Chuckles, don't push her.”, Varric luckily intervened. “She already owns so little stuff as it is, let her keep it”. She liked him better already. Solas his eyes narrowed, but he let it go, retreating a step. “I was not planning on keeping it, Varric, merely studying it. I have not seen such designs before, it's interesting indeed”, he waited for Ann to respond to that comment, but she never did. Ann was breathing in relieve, the tingling had stopped, though she kept her face a mask. She tried to change the subject, “From all the books here I get the impression you study a great deal”.

 

Solas seem to gladly take the change in subject and told her all about the Fade and how he offered to help with closing the Breach. Ann's head was swirling with all the new information.

 

After a while, Varric stood up, “We should be on our way, the apothecary is next on our list. Have a good day Chuckles. Come on Ann”. She hastily obeyed.

 

“See you later then, good day Herald”, Solas said, closing his door behind them.

 

 

\-----------------------------

 

 

“I think our last stop is the Chantry”, Varric said. Ann blinked at him. “The last stop?”. “Yeah, I think Cassandra-"

 

Suddenly, the front doors of the chantry burst open and there was the Seeker. Looking angry. Again. Ann quickly went to stand behind the dwarf, even though that did nothing to hide her. It sort of felt good to have _someone_ between herself and the Angry Lady.

 

“You!”, she said, but instead of looking at Ann, she looked at Varric. “You should have brought her here directly! We have been waiting for over an hour already!”

 

“Ah really? Ups, look where the time has goon! Totally lost track- ow well, but we are here now, that's what matters right?”. Cassandra's eyes narrowed in irritation, grunted in disgust, but them motioned for Ann to follow her. She looked over her shoulder at Varric, slight fear in her eyes as she walked towards the Chantry. He just waved at her and called, “Say hi to Josie from me!”.

 

She desperately wished she had his confidence right now.

 

“M-my Lady, I-I'm terribly sorry-”, she began, but Cassandra interrupted her, “It was all the dwarf's doing no doubt! No don't apologize! I know its not your fault. Really, I should just have gotten you myself than-”, she gave a deep sigh, as though to collect herself, then looked at her. “It doesn't matter, come, they are waiting”.

 

Then the Seeker opened a door and they entered the war room. No one was there.

 

Cassandra let out an impatient breath and told her to wait, while she gathered the others. The door closed with a sharp bang, Ann eyed it nervously. Then she looked at the rest of the room. The first time she was here, she was too shocked with the turn of events to really take it in. The room was plain, lots of stone, but the table was what really got her attention. There were markers on them, rivers, mountains and forests. And if she looked further, there were even desserts marked as well. She approached it eagerly, tracing the land she knew with her eyes, and investigating the names of cities she had heard about, but didn't know where they were situated.

 

What was such a map doing here?

 

The door opened again, and she flinched away from the table. The Commander came in, “Ah, there you are, and here I thought the meeting was canceled”.

 

Ann quickly bowed her head in greeting, “My Lord, I-I am very sorry for causing the delay!”. Never mind that it was not her fault. That didn't matter. It never mattered.

 

“From what I understood from Cassandra, it was not really in your control now was it?”

 

“I-I .. well .. but still”, She hardly dared to look at him, so nervous she was. Would they not punish her and get it over with? But apparently that was not part of the agenda.

 

“Please, it doesn't matter, and also you can just say 'Cullen', or _Commander_ Cullen if you insist on titles”, he said, looking at her with kind eyes. She looked at him like she couldn't fully process what just happened. “I- really?”, her stomach dropped. Did that really got out of her mouth?? What was wrong with her?!?

 

He gave her a small smile, as though she amused him, “Of course”.

 

Then Cassandra came into the room with another two ladies. One she already knew, Leliana, but the other - wow - _what kind of clothing was that?_ Was that real gold?

 

“Now that we are all here, _finally_ , let's get started”, the Seeker began, clearly in a bad temper. “We should come to a decision soon concerning -”

 

“Now now my Lady Cassandra, we should first properly introduce ourselves should we not?”, the fancy Lady proposed in a delicate and sweet manner.

 

Cassandra closed her eyes, seem to take a deep breath, _again_ , and then carried out the introductions. “I think you already met Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition's forces”. Ann curtseyed again to him, for some reason her face feeling hot. Before he could say anything however, the Seeker turned to the well-dressed Lady, seemingly in a hurry to get the introductions over with, “This is Josephine, she is our chief diplomat.”

 

“It is very good to finally meet you in person, Lady Herald, it is an honor!”, Josephine said, again in such a well phrased voice.

 

Ann hardly knew what to say to that, so instead she repeated a sentence that she heard her master say once, “Oh I assure you, the honor is all mine”, she gave her a bow, while Josephine also curtseyed. Awkward much? Cassandra made an impatient noise.

 

“And this is Leliana, she is our spymaster”

 

“Tactfully put”, Leliana said with a note of satisfaction in her voice.

 

She bowed to her as well, muttering a 'nice to meet you' to the whole room. She wished they would stop staring. Was it her hair? It was her hair wasn't it?

 

“So, to business now, we should gather the support of the mages if we want to close that Breach”, Cassandra continued.

 

“And I still disagree, the Templars could serve just as well!”

 

_And the arguing begins_. Why was she here again? To look how a fight between that woman and Cullen would end? She eyed the two people critically, if it were a bet, she would not be sure who would win. The Commander was strong (she had seem him fight after all), but given the pissed mood that the Lady Seeker was in ... hmm could be a tough match.

 

“.. no party will speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced us, and you specifically”, the diplomat looked at her pointedly, startling her from her thoughts.

 

“O-oh”, she said stupidly. Why though? They were waiting for a bit more of a reaction, so she added, “That's unfortunate”.

 

“Yes, it is”, Cassandra said, leaning against the war table with both arms looking at the map. “It is because everyone calls you 'the Herald of Andraste'. You would think they would have other concerns to deal with, but well”

 

“Yes, everyone is talking about you”, Leliana put in, looking pleased, but also a bit apprehensive for her reaction.

 

“It is quite the title isn't it? What do you think about that?”, the Commander now promted her.

 

“ehm”, it was ridiculous of course, but she hardly thought that answer would suit the listeners so she said ,“It's confusing, I hardly remember anything from what happened in the Temple. I don't remember Andraste choosing me”.

 

“I am sure you will get your memories back at some point, but for now that does not really matter”, Cullen said, coming back to business. “We have to find other allies if we want to approach the templars or mages”.

 

They discussed their next moves, all the while Ann wondering why she was there again, what did they expect of her? It was decided upon for her to go to the Hinterlands to meet a 'Mother Giselle'. Though first she needed some combat training, the area seemed to be a victim of the templar and mage war. She had to be ready to defend herself, should the need arise.

 

Ann didn't like the sound of that, but agreed to leave once Leliana's spies had explored the area in a bit more detail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> I was also wondering, should I include other character's perspectives in this story-line as well? I am tempted to do so, but on the other hand, it is also fun to keep it to Ann's perspective. Maybe I will write some of Cullen's perspective as a seperate thing ...
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Comments are really motivating!


	5. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

_They were packing. For what, she wasn't really sure,_ _but_ _mom said 'just in case'. Yet somehow she thought it was more than a 'just in case' sort of thing. It was like she was planning something,_ _but every time Ann asked, mother kept to the same story: “If something happens, you need to have the essentials with you, so please, keep packing Marianne”. And so she did._

 

 _Bernd seemed to know she was up to something though, and Ann overheard him trying to reason with her. She stopped just behind a corner to listen. “Make one mistake and you are dead, then what will Ann do uh?”, “It's Marianne, and watch your tong! If you are willing to spend the rest of your life in a cage, so be it, but she deserves better! I deserve better!”. Bernd added something in a too low voice for her to hear, but it infuriated her mother. A slap was heard, “How dare you!?”, Ann quickly crossed the corner, Bernd was holding his cheek, while_ _her mother_ _was glaring at him._

 

“ _Mom?”, she said uncertainly. Her glare softened, but she was still frowning when she walked away, Ann in tow. Bernd looked at_ _their retreating backs_ _in concern._

 

 _When they were alone, Ann could not stand the silence any longer, “Mom, please”. “Yes da'len_ _?”._ _In her worry, she let the nickname slip. “I don't want you to die”._

 

 _Mom looked at her with love in her eyes, hugging her close, “I won't darling, I won't leave you”._ _Ann hugged her tightly in relieve._ _Years later_ _she_ _would look_ _back on this memory with detachment, o_ _ne of the many broken promises_ _her mother made_ _._

 

\----------------------

 

Ann was wearing armor. Real armor! Not as fancy as the Commander or Lady Penthagast, but still, armor! Almost like the agents from Leliana, though the color was different: Leather from nugskin and a long jacket with whitish wool to keep her warm. The boots were light, but strong, and her hands were protected as well. All the light colors were in contrast with her light brown skin, bringing out the striking dark blue color of her eyes. Even though, as an elf, she had narrow arms and legs, the armor fitted perfectly. She looked part of the army already.

 

That thought gave her the creeps. She was no soldier, didn't have the confidence to protect herself properly. But that she had to learn, ain't it? She had to learn how to fight, though she doubted she was ever going to be any good ...

 

Ann checked the time before hurrying off. The day had just begun and here she was behind schedule already! Normally Ann would wake at the crack of dawn, but lately she needed all the sleep she could get. It was like there was so much information each day, that the nights were too short to make sense of it all. And then she would wake to _another_ dreamworld where she is named the 'Herald' and she was 'destined' to save everyone from some weird green hole in the sky. _Oh wait, that was real wasn't it?_ , she would think, a fresh wave of adrenaline waking her up completely, before throwing the sheets of. Not a nice way to start her days, but well, hopefully she would get used to it. She doubted that she would get used to the servants that wanted to attend her though. She was very capable of dressing herself, thank you very much!

 

She felt the wind through her hair as she half-ran towards the recruits (really, how did they cut peoples hair at Haven?), hoping the commander would not be mad.

 

Luckily for her, the commander was a very busy man, so he hardly noticed she was a few minutes late. In fact, he was so absorbed in his work that he didn't notice her at first. Ann nervously lingered at the entrance of his tent. Should she knock? Or return later (he _did_ seem very busy)? But no, Cassandra was very clear on her schedule for the next few days, and it would not do to start with exceptions already at the first opportunity. This thought did not make the nervous knots go away though.

 

She took a few steps before saying, “C-commander sir?”, making sure her eyes were focused down, towards the rug.

 

“Ah, Herald, good you are here, just a moment please”. It took him a minute or two to finish the letter, he released a deep sigh before getting up and gestured they should go outside. “My apologies, writing letters is not my strong suit, and these should not be delayed any longer”, he seemed to say the last part more to himself than to Ann. Why did he find it necessary to apologies, while _she_ was the one being late? And what kind of letters was he writing?

 

It was a fine day outside, sun shining and hardly any wind. When Ann did not formulate any reply, Cullen filled in the silence, “We are getting more recruits every day, some of them pilgrims, but I must say, none of them made quite the entrance you did”. He glanced down at her, measuring her reaction. Ann glanced at him, before looking back at the snow, unsure of her reply. “I-I ... well ...” before deciding to be honest, “I wouldn't wish anyone for that kind of entrance”.

 

“I would be concerned if you did”, he said. “I was recruited in Kirkwall myself. I was there during the mage uprising and saw first hand the devastation it caused. Cassandra sought a solution, when she offered me a position I left the templars to join her cause. But now we face something far worse”, glancing at the sky.

 

Ann followed his gaze. The large gaping hole made the sky look green instead of the blue color it should be. Was the mark really there only hope of fixing it? Was _she_ really their only hope? “Things are not looking good, I agree”, she said conversationally.

 

Cullen continued, “Yes, that's why we are here. We are the only ones doing anything about it, the Chantry lost control of both templars and mages. And now they argue over a new Devine while the Breach remains. The Inquisition could act, while the Chantry cannot. Our followers would be part of that, there is so much we can-”, but then he stopped himself, suddenly self conscious. “Forgive me, I doubt you came here for a lecture”.

 

Again with the apologizing, why? “I don't mind sir, please continue”. Anything to delay the training, really.

 

He chuckled, “Maybe some other time”, she looked at him curiously, giving a small smile without thought. Did he look embarrassed? “I ehm”, he cleared his throat. Yes, definitely embarrassed. “There is still a lot of work ahead”, and then they were interrupted. “Commander, I'm ready when you are sir”.

 

“Ah, yes, thank you lieutenant”, he turned back to Ann, “The lieutenant will be responsible for your training, at least in the beginning. Later you could join the recruits when you are more experienced, but for now you need to learn the basics. I expect you to train every day”, he said all this in a very matter of fact kinda voice, the _commander_ voice, but then he added, sounding unsure “if ehm that is-, is that alright?”

 

Strange commander he was, and even stranger were the feelings in her body at the change of his voice. “O-of course sir, I-I mean Commander, sir”, she could have hit herself for stumbling over the words, but the commander seemed relieved with her answer, then turned towards the lieutenant to give him further instructions. The lieutenant himself had a forced serious expression on his face, as though he tried hard not to laugh.

 

\-----------

 

“Good, now, take aim and hit the target!”

 

Ann's hand was shaking. She hated the bow, violence in general in fact, despite her 'brave face' earlier at the temple. But her teacher seemed to think that her hidden talent was archery. Heh, right, like she had any talent to begin with.

 

It was not that the technique was hard, far from it. She took an arrow and aimed. It was the shooting part that brought a foul taste in her mouth. She grimaced when the arrow was sent flying, narrowly missing the target. “Again!”

 

It took three more tries before she hit the target at the very edge. Sweat was running down her neck, not from the exertion, but from apprehension. _When will he order me to shoot a person?_ She glanced at him before staring back to the snow near her feet. “Why are you stopping?”, he asked her.

 

“I hit the target sir”. _Too cheeky_ , Ann thought, _he will hit me for it, or worse._ Her heart was beating in her throat, her shoulders taut. But instead of beating her, he snorted, shaking his head. “Just barely! If that would be your enemy, you would just have scraped his shoulder! He would not even been slowed in battle! Now, continue until you hit it dead center!”

 

Ann glanced to him again, he looked amused, curious even, but not angry. She took a shaky breath, then answered softly “Yes, sir”, and continued the exercise.

 

After wards, she felt emotionally tense. The lieutenant just thought she was not used to the physical exercise, which was only partly true. She did do a lot of physical tasks, but those were generally no so much related to the muscles needed for shooting a bow. In truth, her shooting arm felt raw.

 

She desperately wished for a break to collect her thoughts, or a task were she was left alone, like the dishes or something. Or some food, that would be wonderful right about now. Alas, that time was not granted: She had a meeting with the ambassador next, and she was running very behind on schedule.

 

While she was rushing towards her cabin, she did not notice the curious glance the Commander gave her. His eyes followed her until he was startled by an incoming report.

 

Once inside the cabin, Ann quickly washed (nobles did not like sticky hands or smelly people after all) and changed out of her armor. Now she looked more like a 'commoner' with the thick cotton jacket, shirt and brown pants. Nobles liked the distinction between rank, and she guessed Lady Montilyet was no different, then she rushed towards the Inquisition's diplomat.

 

“Herald! Thank you very much for joining me! How was your training with the lieutenant?”

 

Quickly discarding the (silly) idea of speaking her mind, Ann replied: “It was all very new to me, my Lady, I realize I still have much to learn”. Indeed, those where the observations of the lieutenant himself. She added, “I have to report to him again tomorrow to continue my training”.

 

Josephine gave her a smile and gestured for her to sit down, “you will get the hand of it I'm sure! I have heard that the lieutenant can be strict, but he is a good teacher”. Ann made a small noise in the back of her throat to indicate she was listening, her back tense while she sat. She had no idea what to expect from this meeting, only that it would help her 'fit in', as Varric had put it.

 

The diplomat seemed in no hurry to get to the point though. “A lot has happened in a small amount of time, I know you are not from around here and it must be some getting just to this new situation. Indeed, we all need time to adjust. Please, do let me know if we can do anything to make you feel more at home here”

 

Ann looked at her, baffled by the fact she would consider her comfort at all and uncomfortable on how to respond. It felt really weird that a lady, a noble, was so considerate and polite towards her. Why go through the trouble? They already made her promise she would help the Inquisition, what more did they want?

 

“Herald?”

 

“I-I .. yes, thank you my Lady, I will”, she said, looked at her clamped hands.

 

Josephine looked at her with slight concern, but continued, “What are your thoughts on Haven? I understand that Varric was so nice to give you a tour of our establishment.”

 

“It was very useful, my Lady”, ever careful not to give her own opinion away. The diplomat seemed to know she didn't want to voice her thoughts, and luckily did not press the matter. “I daresay it still needs more work, the Commander in particular wants to add more defenses. Though, I'll admit, I hope we will never need them”, she gave her a smile and Ann dared to give a tiny one in response.

 

The diplomat glanced to her clipboard, before continuing, “I understand that -”, but then suddenly the door opened loudly, revealing a masked noble dressed at least as elaborate as Josephine. “Lady Montilyet, this will not do at all!”, pretending Ann was not even in the room. Ann quickly left the chair and stood in a corner, head down. She shouldn't be here to witness this outburst, but the noble was blocking the way out.

 

“Marquis-”, Josephine began, standing up and glancing quickly from the noble to Ann, but she was not allowed to even finish. How rude and o so typical.

 

“The Inquisition CANNOT remain ambassador! Not if you cannot prove it was set up under Justinia's orders!”. Even with the mask on, you could see he was agitated, his face red. Josephine took a deep breath before answering politely, “I'm afraid this is an inopportune time, Marquis, more of the faithful flock here each day! But-”, she turned towards Ann, “allow me to introduce the one who risked her own life to slow the magic of the Breach”. Ann tried to look as tall as possible, and slowly stepped closer, nervous knots twisting in her stomach.

 

“My Lady”, she said gently, guiding her gently closer by putting a hand on her shoulder, “This is Marquis DuRellion, one of Divine Justinia's greatest supporters“.

 

“And the rightful owner of Haven!”, he added heatedly. “House DuRellion lent Justinia these lands for a pilgrimage. This 'Inquisition' is not a beneficiary of this arrangement!”.

 

“It's not?”, Ann asked tentatively. She shouldn’t have said anything, damn Varric and getting her to ask more questions! “Indeed it is not!”, he spat at her.

 

“I beg to diver, your Grace, the Inquisition has been started by the Left and Right hand of the Devine”, Josephine swiftly added.

 

“I have seen no written records from Sister Leliana or Seeker Pantaghast that Justinia approved the Inquisition.”

 

“If he won't take her at her word”, the diplomat made it seem like she was discussing this 'strange' notion with Ann, “I'm afraid Seeker Pentagast must challenge him to a duel.”

 

“WHAT?!?”

 

“It is a matter of honor among the Nevarrans. Shall I arrange the bout for tonight?”, already taking notes.

 

“No,no! Perhaps my reaction to the Inquisition's presence was somewhat hasty”, he gave a deep sigh, turning away from the pair. Ann looked at Josephine nervously, but she now looked with compassion to the noble.

 

“We face a dark time, Your Grace, Divine Justinia would not want her passing to divide us. She would, in fact, trust us to forge new alliances to the benefit of all, no matter how strange they might seem.”

 

It sounded like Josephine believed every word of her own speech. Ann could not help but wonder whether _she_ was one of those 'strange new alliances'. It took several seconds for the ambassador's words to sink in, but when he turned around next, all the fight had left him.

 

“I'll think on it Lady Montilyet. The Inquisition .. might stay in the meanwhile.” he said tiredly. Then he left the room.

 

Josephine visibly relaxed, rubbing her head, and Ann felt impressed with her. She would never be able to charm a noble like that. “You are very good with words my Lady”, she said with slight awe in her voice.

 

The diplomat gave her a smile, “Thank you, I would be a terrible ambassador indeed if I did not know my way with words”, sitting down again and inviting her to do the same. Ann gratefully did, now more relaxed than before. “Every guest we receive will spread the Inquisition's story. An ambassador should ensure the tale is as complimentary as possible”

 

“But please, I did not ask you here just to persuade noblemen from letting us stay in Haven”, genly steering the conversation elsewhere. They continued talking for another hour, in which Josephine ( _“_ _Please, you can call me Josie”,_ _what_ _really?!?_ ) explained about the Inquisition, some general history about Orlais and Fereldren, and some practical information on how she should react to visiting nobles. _Not_ like a servant was the short answer to the last question. It was all very confusing, all the etiquette she learned as a slave she had to unlearn. Oh, and she got some books for 'background' reading concerning all the different cultures in Tethas, noble families, history ...

 

If her mother had not insisted on teaching some of this stuff to her already, she would have been totally overwhelmed. Still, it was a lot of information to take in.

 

Afterwards, Ann finally had some time for herself. And she was starving. When she entered the Tavern, it was well past lunch time, but even so several people were in the process of eating. A late lunch or an early dinner, Ann was not sure. Varric was sitting at one of the tables with the commander, welcoming her with a “Mouse! Come and join us!”. She approached them warily.

 

The commander greeted her without meeting her eye, face flushed for some reason.

 

She took a seat next to Varric, “Hi Master Tethras, what's new?”. She had become quite comfortable around him, comfortable enough to ask some questions. Cullen was now focused on his food. Without having to order anything, Flissa brought her a plate of stew, which she gratefully accepted.

 

“Not much, weather as fine as any day, and more green than ever. Also trying to get this guy to lighten up.” He motioned to Cullen. The commander almost choked on his food in reply. Ann looked curious between the two, “How so?”.

 

“Oh come on, you must have noticed he spend too much time with a serious expression on his face, it's not healthy!”

 

“Oh for Andraste's sake”, Cullen muttered. “No”, Varric corrected, “it's for your own sake Curly”. Ann tried hard not to laugh. That would be imprudent. Instead, she hid her smile by taking a bite of her meal.

 

“The Inquisition is serious, the world is about to be swallowed up by some magic rift in the sky, that is not a laughing matter!”

 

“Yes, but that shouldn't keep you from unwinding every now and then. I have hardly seen anyone work as hard as you do, you need to relax or you will not keep it up.”

 

“I'm fine”, he said sternly, standing up from the table. “And if you'll excuse me, I have things to do”, then he left, leaving his meal half-finished.

 

Varric sighed deeply, “Well, at least he ate half of his plate”, he muttered. Ann swallowed her food, before asking, “He is a bit of a workaholic isn't he?”.

 

“Heh, that is a huge understatement. I don't think he does anything else _but_ work”.

 

She couldn't help but remember the way he passionately talked about the Inquisition this morning. “I guess that is part of being a commander isn't it? He really believes in our cause”

 

“Oh yes, that he does. But if he keeps this up, I wouldn't be surprised he would not be able to stand on his own legs anymore. Up well before dawn, and have you noticed the lights in his tent never go out at night? Hell, does he even sleep? Every person needs sleep.”

 

Ann's eyes narrowed in sudden concern for Cullen, though she couldn't quite explain to herself why. It was not her place to interfere, it was not her business. But the idea of the commander working towards a burnout was worrying. He seemed alright though, maybe Varric was just exaggerating? Like he said, everyone needs sleep, Ann was sure the commander was no exception and slept just like everyone else. He didn't seem to be a stupid person either. But all the same ... it wouldn't hurt to watch him, you know, just in case.

 

After the late lunch, she wondered around Haven, unsure what to do with her free time. Maybe she should start with one of the books she got from Lady Montilyet? She didn't feel like reading though, not after the onslaught of new information this morning.

 

Then one servant dashed behind one of the cabins, catching Ann's attention by his secretive behavior. Suddenly curious, she waited near a merchant, pretending to investigating the goods, while keeping an eye on the cabin in question. She was far enough not to get the servant's attention when he reemerged. He quickly hurried along, eyes dashing about before looking at the snow. Suspicious ... Without catching attention, she walked towards the cabin, then pretended to pick elfroot. She slipped behind the cabin. What was he up to?

 

At first, the place didn't look all that special. But after some investigation, she found a hidden note:

 

_Nightingale,_

 

_Evidence of lashes at back. Rings never removed. Not amused by helping hands._

 

 _Made friends with storyteller_ _._

 

_Followed schedule as agreed, not fond of violence. Hardly ever speaks her mind._

 

Ann stared at the note. Was someone shadowing her? Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was plenty of Cullen-Ann interaction in this one, hopefully it is to your liking. I already started to write some of the later parts, maybe I could update more often at some point, who knows. 
> 
> I know I have said this before, but please leave a comment! It is really motivating to read what other people think of the stories you write. 
> 
> And, of course, thanks to everyone who left kudo's to this work and are still following this story! You are amazing!


	6. Promotions

Ann was walking around the frozen lake. It was truly beautiful here: Powdery white snow, mountains, but still some greens here and there. Elfroot flourished, even though the cold, and if you looked closely, you could see footprints of the wild animals that took their residence. She could have sworn she saw a fox rushing around one boulder once, its fur a healthy red brownish color.

 

However, her mind was not on the pretty surroundings, she was searching for something. For a good piece of wood in fact. If she was going to stay here for a longer time, she wanted to create her own instrument again, and play like she used too. Further and further she walked into the forest, but most pieces were either too small or too big. Others had the wrong shape altogether. At one point, she was convinced she found one, but no, the wood was not the right quality. She had dropped it in disappointment.

 

At first, she was surprised she was even allowed outside on her own. But no, she was not alone, there was a rustling sound that followed her. Not a fox though, no, she was followed by a rogue, one of Leliana's people perhaps? They never came so close that Ann could get a good look at them, and they did not stop her from exploring the nature surrounding Haven, so she guessed it was all good.

 

Otherwise they could always punish her after wards. It would be a good test, with everyone pressing her that she should feel 'at home' and 'at ease'. Right, with everyone staring at her, by giving her a title she didn't deserve, by taking away the daily routine she was used to, making her more a 'noble' than a servant? Yeah, right, feeling right at home here. Truly. Ann gave a smile in amusement. Didn't they realize it would be much better to give her commands to help her feel at home?

 

Then the amusement died. Of course, this was not a laughing matter, a hole in the freaking _sky_ needed to be closed, people had _died._ Important people too. Some of the clergymen that were still here talked about preparing a service for the deceased, though most had simply _left_. Left, while they were needed most to give people hope. So many were in mourning, it was depressing. And they looked at _her_ for hope.

 

Yet she should not stay either. The right thing to do was to return to her old master's house and wait for her new master to make himself known. She was just property after all. Would it be Lucias or Markus that owned her now? Did it really matter? Both had a general tendency towards evil. But the Inquisition needed her mark as well, without it the world was doomed. More people would die is she just left. Did she really wanted to be responsible for that? Leave them all in this mess? She was still not sure what made her decide to stay, but surely saving the world was more important then earning the goodwill of her future master? Right? And she will return to whoever master, she will, in the end what choice did she have? Just, she wouldn't go just yet. Not now, no, she would close the sky first.

 

She just hoped this delay would not kill her in the end. Maybe, with some luck, her future master will think her dead and no one the wiser.

 

Then she saw it, a nice piece of wood, just the right size to make a small guitar. Kneeling, she brushed the snow of the surface, making sure the quality was good enough. Compliant, so she could carve it in the right shape, but not too compliant either. Perfect.

 

It took her quite some time to return to her cabin, she didn't realize she had walked that far, it had turned dark out. She was sitting on the floor, trying to remember all the details of making guitars, when there was someone knocking on her door. “Hey Mouse, you in there?”. She frowned. Didn't he know that the term was Rabbit, not Mouse? But she let him in anyway.

 

“What are you up too? I've been looking for you! Want to get a drink with me? And you should eat something too!”

 

“What, in the tavern?”

 

“In the tavern she asked, yeah of course in the tavern! Where else?”

 

To hide her face, she went to her washing basin to wash her hands. People would stare at her and call her all sort of titles, looking up to her. Again. As if she was their hero, she was their savior. While she wasn't sure she could do any of it all, but also knowing she had to try. She could not life with herself otherwise, so many people depended on her.

 

“Ann, you alright?”. He must have felt something was not, for he used her name.

 

“I'm fine Master Tethras, it's just ...”, _that I like to hide, pretend to be someone else for the night_. She wished Mary was here, or Paul, to cheer her up. But she hasn't seen them for at least 3 months. Would they manage without her? She dearly hoped the new 'servants' were not giving them a rough time.

 

“.. it's just a little overwhelming?”, he asked when she didn't finish. Ann dried her hands before turning around, trying to give a small smile. “Something like that”

 

“Look, I won't lie, the situation is bad here and I understand you are under a lot of pressure. Hell, I would be surprised and a tad concerned if you did not feel overwhelmed by all this. But please remember, you are not in this alone.”, he raised a hand to her shoulder to emphasize his point.

 

Not trusting her voice, she just nodded in response.

 

“We will be there every step on the way. You know Hawke didn't handle his fame that good either in the beginning you know, but he used it to his advantage in the end. So -”

 

Then his eyes rested on the collection of folded cloths on her desk. Mostly she left them alone, somehow assuming it was for someone else, even though Lady Montilyet assured her it was hers. Master Tethras had other .. plans, grinning at the prospect, “Mouse, come here, I have an idea”

 

 

\------------------

 

 

“- and you know what Hawke did?”, pausing for drama, Ann shook her head in disbelieve, “He stood in front of her and said _“You will not have her””,_ Varric's voice rising a few notches to emphasize Hawke's words. What began as a story recounted for Ann's benefit only, had grown to a storyteller entertainment for at least half the tavern. People didn't realize the Herald was sitting in their midst, the hood she was wearing covered her face completely in shadows, wearing cloths suited for a servant.

Master Tethras even added some make up in case that people caught sight of her face. She was just another elven servant in the tavern, nothing special. She felt more herself than had in days.

 

And it looked like she was not the only one who only heard rumors of what really happened in Kirkwall. Varric was really good in recounting events, and the Champion seemed to be his favorite storybook.

 

She couldn't believe it, the Champion really did save Isabella, even after she betrayed them too! They were friends, good friends, and he would risk death to defend them. She never heard a better story, she wished she was so brave.

 

Next Varric described the fight in gory detail, how war cries filled the air, the near missed blows, how the air had filled with electricity, the smell of fried human skin, and finally, how Hawke brought the Arishok down. People in the audience gasped at just the right places, making Varric grin, before continuing.

 

During the story, Ann's attention was suddenly pulled to a different conversation. A rough male voice, heated in frustration and sluggish, barely making sense.

 

“- the Herald hersself! You would think I noticed such thing, right?!?”

 

“John, please, keep it down!”

 

What was that all about? Under pretense of getting another drink, she moved closer. It was a group of three servants, humans, and at least one of them was quite drunk.

 

The person, presumably 'John', continued, “and now she isss not giving me chance even! My career's ruined!”

 

“Tss, what _career?_ The truth is, you were given a chance and you blew it! Stop whining and just face it, you are a terrible spy.”

 

“Am not! I-I am great at-”

 

“Getting yourself drunk?”, the third person helpfully put in, a woman. “Come on, I think you had enough-”

 

“No, it'sss mine”, scratch that, this person was _very_ drunk. Beer was spilled on the table when the two of them fought over the drink. But in the end, the woman won. John's head fell on the table in dismay, groaning.

 

“Oh for the love of-, grab your shit together John! Come on, I'll get you home.”

 

It took quite some struggling, where John was not helping much, but in the end the two men left the tavern. The woman noticed Ann staring, taking in her clothing, “Hi there, you new or something?”

 

“Yeah, yes I am”, Ann quickly said, making her voice a bit lower than usual. Quickly coming to a decision, she took a few steps forward, “I'm Marie”. A semi-lie, she just hoped Mary back home wouldn't mind.

 

“Lily, nice to meet you”

 

Ann sat down next to her. “Sorry about all the- you know, mess and all”, Lily vaguely waved towards the table. The smell of beer was strong. “Oh, that's fine, everyone handles this weird situation differently I suppose.”

 

“Fair enough, but it's not nice for the people who need to clean it up. Oh, wait, that would be me anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.”

 

Ann looked at her questioningly, and she elaborated, “me, my brother and some other lads keep most of Haven clean. I used to be the personal servant for the Commander, but then the Commander they hired decided he didn't want 'someone to pick up after him'. So if his place is filthy and bed not made, don't come complaining to me. ”

 

“I see, though I've heard he takes his job very seriously at least.”

 

“As he should! The sooner that damn hole is closed, the better I'd say. Wish we could do more in the meantime”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, being a servant is not good enough. How can you make a difference when all you do is changing sheets, sweeping floors, making sure the people in charge have enough water to clean themselves and whatsnot? No, being a servant is not good enough.”

 

“It's just the way it is, and the work you do is not unimportant either”, Ann said almost automatically. Sometimes she felt that she didn't do anything important, but then she reminded herself that her Master expected her to do her job well. And if she didn't ... well ...

 

“Dogshit, Daniel and I are going to see if we can join the recruits tomorrow or something. Seems damn more useful than cleaning all the time”, Lily took a swig from the drink she was holding, then grimaced. “Damn John, what catpiss were you drinking?”

 

Ann meanwhile was staring. She never realized that, as a servant, you could still decide to be something else. Some _one_ else. She always thought 'servant' was a different word for 'slave', but here was one that talked about switching jobs. Making different choices. Making a difference.

 

It made her sad knowing she didn't have those choices.

 

Lily continued, “I know that Sister Nightingale is also searching for new spy recruits. I might try that as well, I don't know. John tried it, but ... yeah ..”, Lily gave a deep sigh, shaking her head.

 

“He tried?”

 

“Yeah, ever since that explosion, things got a little ... intense. His wive got killed during one of the first demon attacks, but he will not except that. He thinks that the demons somehow kidnapped her and if he can just help close the Breach, she will come back”

 

Ann raised an eyebrow. Lily continued, “I know right?! So he tried to be one of Leliana's spies. Didn't worked out the way he wanted though, he sort of failed his exam. Not sure what he will do now. Though knowing him, it will probably something stupid.”

 

They talked of lighter things after that, and at some point Varric made a very loud 'the end', while many listeners asked for more. Varric, however, called it a night and prepared to leave. Was it really that late?

 

Lily groaned, “I really should turn in, see how the others are doing and stuff. Maker, sometimes traveling with those guys makes me feel like a babysitter”.

 

“Let me know if you need help changing diapers”

 

She chuckled, “I will, thanks Marie, I needed this. Was nice meeting you”. She waved and then left.

 

Ann followed suit, it was well after midnight, and she had another full day tomorrow. As she walked through the snow, she noticed light in several huts. Including the commander's. As she lingered, several lights went out, but the one of the commander was ever vigilant. Varric's previous words came back to her. He was not at the tavern, did that mean he was working all this time? Or that he tried to sleep but couldn't? Sometimes she had made a potion to help people relax. Her master wanted it every now and then. At other times she would give it to him in low dosages, to make him forget punishments she or others were promised, a little trick her mother taught her.

 

She bit her lower lip in thought, should she make it? Would that be accepted? But was it really her place to intervene? Maybe not, she was not his servant or his slave. His well being should not be her concern. And where would she find the ingredients here anyway? No, never mind, she should just continue on and get some sleep herself.

 

She continued down the path towards her cabin, her thoughts now on the instrument she was going to make, imaging how it would sound like. She would have started on the outline already, if Varric hadn't insisted they share a meal and drink at the tavern.

 

When she entered her cabin, someone had entered to clean up. Her dirty cloths were cleaned, nicely folded and her washing water was refreshed. Though her future instrument was missing. Ann frowned, walking towards the writing table. She was so sure she put it right there, where did it-?

 

Then she heard the cracking of a fire in the heart and she quickly turned. Sure enough, there it was, slowly blackening and already half-gone, greedily being consumed by the fire. She stared at it in disappointment for a long time, tears gathering in her eyes, before deciding it didn't matter (but of course it did) and to go to bed.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

“ _I-I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-”, Mary wailed as she tried to clean up a broken vase. It was the one the Master recently brought back from Tevinter. A nice straight black one with white highlights, the latest fashion, the one Lucias had chosen apparently. Designed to show off power. And Mary broke it during cleaning._

 

_Ann quickly bowed to help, “Come on, quickly, let's get this cleaned up, what's done is done”, though with dread she thought about the punishment Mary would get. Only last week she got a beating for serving the wrong wine. Her back was not healed yet, and now she would get another. And somehow Ann had this dark feeling the punishment of breaking such an expensive artifact, the one the favorite son choose even, would be more than a few lashes._

 

_Mary's hands were shaking when suddenly the Master himself came in, closely followed by Lucias and Markus. Lucias was furious, while the Master was frowning, looking between the two. Deciding which one was the culprit. Ann quickly stood up, head bowed. “I-I'm terribly sorry, Master, it was an accident, I-”, but she was not even allowed to finish. Lucias was already on her, grabbing her by the front of her shirt, lifting her up and screaming in her face. “How dare you even touch my things!!! You WILL pay for this!!”_

 

_The Master intervened, “Lucias, please, not here”. Indeed, her blood should not soil the carpet. So instead, she was dragged towards the dungeon. Mary stayed behind, frozen in shock in a corner, eyes wide and fearful, while Markus frowned to the floor._

 

_Too soon, Ann's knees hit the cold stone, and her cloths were ripped open to expose her back. She was shaking, from cold or dread?, kept her head bowed and waited for the inevitable. The whip touched the floor, while Lucias advanced towards her, “Filthy knife-ear, good for nothing piece of shit”, Ann heard the sound of the approaching whip through the air and braced herself._

 

She suddenly awoke, sweating and terrified, her back burning. She was breathing in short breaths, curved into a ball, trying not to cry. It was just a dream, just a dream, _just a dream_ , though of course that was only partly true. Something similar happened about a month before she got her rings. A month before everything changed. Oh how much she missed the others, her mother and Bern and for things to be _normal_. She bit her lip hard to keep from sobbing, a few stubborn tears ran down her cheeks, feeling utterly alone.

 

It took a long time for her to calm down enough to get up. It was early, well before dawn, but might as well get started, maybe she could find another future instrument somewhere? Though, she would hide it somewhere else than her cabin.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

It took several days for Ann to get used to her new 'freedom'. Even though she had obligations, like training and courses with Lady Montilyet ('Please, Joshie is fine', she would never get used to it), she had more than enough time to pursue her own interest as well. She was an early riser, especially now routine was back (even if it was completely different from what she was used too). She started to make a new guitar, and kept it well hidden, in a cave nearby. Well, 'nearby' was sort of stretching it, but at least it was save.

 

Commander Cullen kept a close eye on her. Must be because she was so lousy at shooting, why else would he keep watching her? Maybe it was her hair (she would have to cut it at the first chance, or she would have to learn how to braid it or something)? He rarely talked to her though, and instead let the lieutenant decide the best way of teaching her the art of archery and strategies.

 

John and Daniel made it as recruits, Ann spotted them training one morning. However, Lily became a runner for Sister Nightingale and Lily was thrilled. She was allowed to travel far and wide, and gather useful information! Ann and Lily just had time to say goodbye one evening before she had to leave. It made Ann sad to see one of her friends leave so soon, but then again, she would be leaving as well. Cassandra, Varric and Solas would accompany her towards the Hinterlands, her first 'mission' (as the commander called it) was to talk to Mother Giselle.

 

The day before they left, Cullen said to her, “You have greatly improved since you started your training. You will be fine, just concentrate on the task at hand”, his eyes met hers, briefly, before quickly shifting towards the stone wall behind her. She didn't like the idea of shooting someone though ... even though her aim had improved greatly, Ann was sure she would never be able to kill a person, even if that person was her enemy. How could one just kill another in cold blood? How do you deal with that sort of thing? She glanced at the commander, how did _he_ deal with it? Instead of asking any of those questions, she smiled at him, “Thank you commander, I will”. He looked at her, giving a small smile, though his eyes betrayed his worry. “Take care”, then he turned to leave. Her eyes followed his retreating back, her stomach in knots.

 

The next morning the four of them left on foot. They didn't have any horses yet, so their journey was going to be a long one. Ann was used to traveling on foot though, when she traveled together her Master, he was the only one with a horse and she used to jog to keep up. And truthfully, she loved walking, being surrounded by nature and the sense of freedom it brought. Sure, that feeling was just an illusion, but still.

 

At first, Cassandra didn't appreciate it when Ann helped to set up temporary camps, or prepared dinner. Honestly, what else should she do? Sit on her hands and let them do all the work? Ridiculous! By the third night, however, the Seeker seemed too tired to protest and even smiled at her gratefully when she was given a steaming bowl of soup.

 

Solas kept mostly to himself, and Ann wasn't sure what to think of him. He seemed to know more than he should. Sometimes, she caught him looking at her jewelry, ss if he suspected what they were for, but kept that information to himself.

 

Varric chatted most of the day, and around the fire at night, filling up the silences, for which Ann was grateful. He prodded her sometimes with questions, some of which she could answer.

 

“Hey Mouse, I was wondering, what is your favorite color for the sky?”

 

“I-I, what?”

 

“You know, the sky, should it stay this emerald green or would you have it in any other color?”

 

“Eeh, how about normal blue?”

 

“What? If you could pick any color you liked, you would go for blue?”

 

She had raised an eyebrow at him. Then decided to be a bit more truthful, “Alright Varric, you got me, I would go for all colors of the rainbow, like during a sunset or sunrise. But then, the colors would be there all the time, that would be beautiful”

 

Cassandra had looked wishfully to the horizon at that comment, as though imagining the scene.

 

At other times, she had to dodge the question completely or lie outright. She really didn't like those moments.

 

“I was wondering, who was this former employer of yours?”

 

Ann almost froze mid step, but then answered. “He is- was- Marque Talsan”

 

“Yeah, a name is one thing, but who was he really? Someone important?”

 

She suspected he was part of the underground operation of Tevinter in Ferelden, though she was unsure what they were doing or their purpose. Of course she was not allowed to disclose any of it. She had to steer the conversation to another direction, fast.

 

“He was a good master, if that's what you mean, he provided for us when we had nowhere else to go.”

 

“Hmm really? I had the impression most Marques are lazy bastards who think themselves better than everything and everyone”, Varric left the sentence hanging, hoping for more, but Ann refused to elaborate further, though she couldn't help but silently agree.

 

It took several days before they reached the Hinterlands. And the land was in complete disarray. Without thought, Ann recited prayers to the Maker under her breath the further they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry if this chapter isn't really that eventful, but I had to set up some things for later. I hope it was not too boring or something ... I hope you enjoyed it anyway.
> 
> Again, thanks to everyone who gave kudo's/comments to this work and are still following the story! I know I'm a terrible slow writer, so thanks for your patience!


	7. Fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some description of violence, be warned.

Mother Giselle was at the crossroads, right at the place of fighting. Innocents were trapped in the middle of the war between the runaway templars and mages. And there was no time to lose. Ann got more and more nervous the closer they got, bodies were scattered next to the road, the smell of blood and fire in the air.

 

Cassandra was leading the way, and before long they reached the battlefield. The Inquisition soldiers were in trouble, barely able to keep the enemy back. The Seeker charged, taking Ann by surprise. Varric and Solas were right behind her. Ann struggled to get the bow aimed, taking an arrow, her hands shaking. _Do I really have to do this?_

 

There were more people coming now, “Stop, we mean you no harm!”, Cassandra screamed. Yet they attacked all the same. “I don't think they care Seeker”, Solas answered breathlessly, covering them in a magical barrier. They were almost being overwhelmed by templars and mages alike. Cassandra had killed already a handful of them, while Varric did an impressive move, jumping backwards and raining arrows on the approaching enemies at the same time.

 

Screams filled the air, blood everywhere, Ann tried to aim, but couldn't focus, her hands still shaking. They were moving so quickly! Should she shoot the bigger brute over there, or the smaller man behind Cassandra?

 

Electricity filled the air, adding to the chaos, and Ann now aimed near Solas instead, but he did not need her help. Cassandra did though, suddenly crying out when she got hit by a dagger in the back. Quickly aiming, and she let the arrow fly, missing terribly. Her hand slipped over the next arrow, shaking too much, and she dropped it. Useless.

 

In the end, it didn't matter, they won the fight without her help, though the Seeker was injured and furious. “What the hell was that suppose to be?!?”, she hissed to Ann, trying to stem the bleeding at the same time. “Why did you waver?!?”, Cassandra's face was an inch or two from hers, and Ann was frozen on the spot, her heartbeat in her ears, feeling afraid and guilty at the same time. She just couldn't do it, couldn't. She tried to formulate an answer, but couldn't get the words from leaving her mouth.

 

“Seeker, please, your shoulder-”, Solas intervened, passing her a potion. She snatched it with her good hand, and drained it, then walked off, muttering angrily. The apostate stared at the Herald, head tilted in silent question. Then Varric walked over, having collected her arrows. “Here Mouse, it is really tough the first time, but it will get easier, don't you worry”.

 

That comment was not reassuring at all. “I-I-”, but she lost track on what she was planning to say.

 

“Come one, let's have a seat now shall we?”, he gently steered her to the side, away from all the blood. Ann heard a woman crying in the distance.

 

And so the Herald sat in the grass, still in shock from the fight, not really noticing all the activity around her. At some point Varric offered her some water, which she took absentmindedly, though she only drank after a reminder from the rogue. She had just frozen, panicked, that was it. But how could she prevent it from happening again? “Varric?”, Ann said softly. “Yes Ann?”, she almost didn't notice that he used her name instead of her nickname. “How do you do it? Shooting people and .. stuff”

 

Varric gave a deep sigh, looking around them, “Well kid, it's never easy. It will never be easy. But try looking at it from a different point of view”, he gestured towards some of the refugees, “We also saved a lot of lives today, they will be saver from now on.”

 

Ann looked at the people thoughtfully, he did have a point. But would that thought really make it easier?

 

“And besides”, he added, “the first kill is always the hardest”.

 

“Varric, I-I don't think I-”, but she couldn't say it.

 

“It's war out there though, and we will not always be there to protect you”, he said gently. Of course he was right, she had to be able to defend herself. But what if she froze again next time?

 

Then Cassandra came to her. “Mother Giselle is right there, attending to the wounded. Go talk to her.” From her body language, Ann gathered she was still angry. Ann got up slowly, avoiding the Seeker's gaze. Before she could go however, Cassandra grabbed her elbow and moved in close to whisper, “Don't you dare to mess this up as well, _Herald_ ”, then she angrily released her and walked off again. Ann swallowed, feeling guilty, before turning around and walking towards Mother Giselle.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Ann awoke suddenly, quickly sitting up and looking around in panic. No one was there, the bedroll of Cassandra cold and empty. The only sound was the calling of early birds, the cracking of a fire, and soft muttering of the people on watch. She lay down again with a sigh, rubbing her eyes. Just a dream, just a dream, _just a dream_.

 

She had been on the battlefield again, but now everyone had screamed at her to shoot. And predictably, she couldn't. Then, just before she woke up, she had turned around to flee, and a rogue jumped at her, daggers at the ready. And she just stood there in shock.

 

Sighing again, she stared at the tent, thinking. She had to compose herself and learn how to shoot someone. She had to. At some point, she would have to be able to defend herself. Whatever the Commander said to her, yesterday was proof enough that she wasn't ready. Far from it. She lacked the courage to protect her friends, to protect herself. That had to change, somehow. Slowly coming to a decision, she got up, dressed and quietly left the tent, her bow in hand. Better get practicing.

 

Ann looked around. They had decided to stay at the Crossroads for now, helping out the refugees. Apart from Cassandra, there were a few other Inquisition soldiers, seemingly in deep discussion. Instead of bothering the 'Angry Lady' further, Ann quietly left camp. She retraced the steps they took yesterday, shivering in the cold, her breath visible as small clouds. It was still dark out, though luckily she could see very well in the dark. Also, a faint light on the horizon hinted at dawn. _It must still be very early,_ Ann thought, carefully adjusting her arrows and bow.

 

When she deemed she was far enough, Ann slowed her paces, looking for something to shoot. There were a few squirrels, birds were singing, and one fox was also hunting, but she was searching for something bigger. Something like a deer or .. or.. .

 

She carefully placed her feet behind a boulder and peered around it. Several goats were lazily grazing the field. Her eyes narrowed, estimating the distance between herself and the animals. They were in shooting range. Carefully not to make any noise, she took an arrow and aimed, her hands slightly shaking. She imagined the goat she was aiming at was not a goat at all, but one of the enemies of yesterday. The guy that hit Cassandra in the back. Only now he wore goat's skin for camouflage. The shaking worsened.

 

_Ah_ _Maker,_ _fuck this, this is_ _ridiculous._ She lowered her bow. Should she really be practicing on an innocent animal? Really? Yet how else was she going to do it? Steeling her resolve, Ann aimed again. Maker help her, she could do this. She would do this. She let go a shuddering breath, then let the arrow fly. And it struck true.

 

The goat fell, whining, struggling to breath, the arrow in his neck. The other animals had scattered, panicked, but that didn't matter. Ann slowly approached the dying animal, aiming another arrow and quickly let it fly again. And again. She would not let it suffer needlessly. Before long, it stopped struggling and lay still, dead. After taking a moment or two to calm herself, she walked over to retrieve her arrows.

 

The grass around the carcass was painted in red. Ann tried not to dwell on it, or on the memory of its screams, instead she contemplated on what to do with her kill. It would be a waste to leave it here. But she doubted she was strong enough to carry it all the way back to camp either. _Unless ..._ Ann looked thoughtfully around, then got to work. She made a contraption to make it easier to carry the goat back to camp. She was nearly finished when the noise of footsteps startled her.

 

Someone was walking towards her. By now, dawn was fast approaching, so she could clearly see the mage, who looked slightly ill and filthy. Suddenly regretting her decision of going out alone, she studied him. What was he doing here?

 

Then he saw her and he started, quickly taking in her armor, bow and the dead animal at her feet. Slowly, his fear was replaced by anger and he muttered something about 'filthy intruders'. In the next moment, he gathered his magic for a spell. Ann quickly retreated, “Wait! I don't-!”, a ball of ice was thrown her way, the mage clearly not listening, again getting ready for the next spell.

 

Without thinking Ann grasped an arrow and aimed, “Stop!”, she yelled. Ice very nearly missed her head, and she panicked. Her arrow hit him in his arm and he screamed. Then he furiously called electricity, shocking her. “aaaAAH!”

 

She didn't even realized she had hit the ground until after the spell lifted. The mage's eyes flashed and he advanced several steps, already calling forth his next spell. But before he could release it, an arrow pierced his neck. Shocked, he looked at her, his hand clawing at the arrow, trying and failing to breath. Then he fell backwards, still struggling, now summoning ice in a poor attempt to stop the bleeding.

 

Ann quickly stood, taking another arrow and aimed it at him, but it was not needed. Within seconds he stopped moving. Her focus was still on the poor excuse of a man, shocked with what just happened, when quite suddenly Cassandra and Varric arrived. Not realizing it was them, she quickly aimed her bow at the pair of them.

 

“Wha! Easy Mouse, easy!”

 

She blinked, lowering her bow, then looked back at the dead mage. Was he really dead?

 

“Herald! Really! What was that all about?!? I come to wake you and all I find is an empty bedroll with no explanation whatsoever! Did you plan to escape your duties?!? You gave us your promise to help!”

Cassandra, ever angry, almost shouted at her.

 

“I-I kilt him”, Ann said stupidly, as though she couldn't quite believe what just happened. Some emotion she couldn't name was threatening to overpower her.

 

“- and you go out all alone as well! You fool! You could have been killed!”, Cassandra continued to rant. Anger like she hadn't felt in a long time washed over her, and before Ann could stop herself she turned, facing the Seeker. “I've killed the bastard alright!? Isn't that what you-”, but then seeing her startled look at her outburst she stopped herself, suddenly mortified. Fuck, what's wrong with her! Screaming at a Lady, a Seeker of Truth, Right hand of the Divine! Fuck fuck fuck!

 

“I-I'm sorry my Lady, please”, she went to her knees, “forgive me”. That act seemed to shock her into silence completely. “Oh for Andrasta's sake! Get up Mouse! She was just worried, that's all!” Varric helped her up. Only then did she notice her arms shaking and something wet on her cheeks. She quickly wiped them dry, mortified.

 

“What happened here?”, Solas suddenly asked, out of breath. Ann didn't even notice he arrived in the meantime. “Finally caught up have you Chuckles! Nothing much, we're just having a _friendly_ conversation”, Varric stressed the word while he glared at Cassandra. She had the decency to look ashamed of herself, before saying, “I am sorry, I shouldn't just have assumed you wanted to escape the Inquisition”, then she looked at Ann, “You _were_ not trying to flee, right?”

 

Ann stared at her, “What?”. It didn't even occur to her that they would assume she tried to escape them, while she just was out hunting. It made her angry all over again, “And to leave all those innocent people to rot!? Is that your opinion of me?!?”, before turning her back on the lot of them, hiding her angry face and trying to calm down. She took several deep breaths, rubbing her eyes. Calm down calm down _calm down._

 

“Then what _were_ you doing?”

 

She waited until the anger was at a manageable level before answering, “Hunting”, then she went back to the goat she shot earlier. Ignoring everything else, Ann finished the contraption she was working on. Trying to act as if the attack didn't happen and she didn't just murder someone. Her hand twitched at the memory, but quickly continued with tying a knot. Solas quietly approached, “you're injured”.

 

Ann looked at him, warily and annoyed at the interruption. He however was looking at her arm. Sure enough, some of the flesh was burned by the lightning. “I'm fine”, she put rope around the goat, getting ready to carry it. “Please, let me-”, stepping closer, but now she lost her patience with him too, “I'm fine!”, knocking his hands away from her. He frowned, but stopped to help her, retreating a few steps.

 

The way back to the crossroads was a tense one. Carefully, Varric offered to help her carry the goat's carcass at some point, and after a few seconds contemplation, she let him. She was not angry with _him_ after all.

 

The people at the crossroad were very happy with the kill. Someone made a stew out of the meat, while others gathered some greens to go with it. Ann, in the meanwhile, examined her wounds. The one on her arm was a nasty one, she should have let Solas mend it. Why did she screamed at him again? She couldn't quite remember why, except that his behavior annoyed her to no end. Still, that alone should not have provoked such impolite behavior. That thought made her feel uncomfortable.

 

Then the memory of the attacking mage resurfaced. She hissed in a breath and suddenly got up, startling a soldier who was just walking by. She took her bow and arrows and decided try to help the refugees in any way she could, ignoring her injuries.

 

By the end of the day, Ann was exhausted, but still unwilling to sleep. Cassandra, Varric and Solas were all sitting around the fire, eating supper. Ann was mostly playing with her food, not really hungry. But she would take a bite every now and then to stop Solas from staring.

 

“I should thank you”, Cassandra suddenly said, a bit hesitant. Ann looked at her, still aiming her head down, not really believing the words. “The mage you killed had some valuable information about an hidden camp. If we root it out, the war here might be stopped”

 

“A good theory Seeker, however unlikely”

 

“What do you mean Solas?”

 

“I think it unlikely that the runaway templars will just abandon their bloodlust when there are no mages left to kill. Yesterday was proof enough”

 

“Ah, you do have a point”

 

“So, we just have to root out both camps then? So much fun here, I never thought! You guys are spoiling me”, Varric joked.

 

Ann didn't say anything. Killing was far from 'fun' in her opinion. Why was that mage there anyway? Why did he insist on attacking her? Why?!? It just didn't make any sense.

 

“Don't celebrate just yet Varric, I have asked Commander Cullen for reinforcements, I doubt we can stabilize the region here with only the four of us”, then she turned to Ann more fully, looking a bit nervous. “There is no need for you to endanger yourself. Just stay back and let us or the soldiers handle the fighting.”

 

Varric frowned, “Why not let her return with Curly? Clearly we are asking too much of her, she's not ready”

 

“And what of the rifts, Child of the Stone? We cannot close them without her.”.

 

“Ah, sort of forgot the sky isn't suppose to be green.. right”

 

“Yes, but that doesn't mean we cannot .. lessen some of her responsibilities”, Cassandra added.

 

Ann felt uneasy, she could tell the others were disappointed in her. Yet, didn't she prove herself today? She could hunt, she could kill. She could defend herself, if need be. Wasn't that enough? What else did they expect?

 

Instead of asking, she quietly put more wood on the fire, somehow disappointed in herself as well, and let the moment pass.

 

 

\-------------------

 

 

By the next morning, she felt really bad for her behavior the day before. She had snapped at them all, lost control of her anger. It should not happen again, even if in some weird way she had every right to be mad at them. These were good people too, which made the whole situation worse. They were nothing like her former Master. Yet even _if_ they were bad people, she should not have lashed out. It was unbecoming, selfish. So as a way to say sorry, she got up early to make breakfast for all of them, stew with fresh meat for once, with some tea to go with it.

 

It was not like she could sleep much anyway, her dreams full of blood and evil magic.

 

Cassandra was the first to waken. She looked impressed with what Ann had prepared, “Oh that's .. very kind of you”. Ann blushed at the comment, handling her a steaming mug of tea, “It was nothing my Lady, really”.

 

The Seeker sniffed the tea, before taking a sip, and making an approving noise at the taste. Meanwhile, Ann was busing herself with making more arrows. _One can never have enough arrows_ , or that's what the Lieutenant told her anyway.

 

“Morning Cass, Mouse, what's for breakfast?”, Varric asked lazily, clearly just woken up. Cassandra's eyes narrowed, but didn't comment. Ann was quick to supply him with a bowl and a mug. Varric's brow raised after a bite or two, inspecting the content, “You sure you slept last evening? I thought we were out of fresh meat, you didn't go hunting alone did you?”

 

“I-I didn't go far, truly”

 

“Wait”, Cassandra intruded, “You went out alone, _again?_ ”

 

“What, the taste of the stew was not prove enough? Ah, forgot, the finer tastes of life are wasted on you Seeker”

 

“It's not a laughing matter _dwarf_!”

 

Ann's heart sank. This was not going the way she had hoped. Not at all. In truth, she only went as far as to check the trap she set yesterday and found a rabbit, that's all. The camp was visible at all times. She wasn't stupid, she hadn't forgotten what happened the day before.

 

At that point, Solas, the notorious sleeper, decided to join the fight. No, join breakfast. Yes. A nice and peaceful breakfast. Of sorts.

 

Who was she kidding?

 

“Heated discussions so early in the morning”, Solas vaguely observed, looking at them curiously. Ann stared at the ground, trying not to cry. That would just make matters worse. It was just so unfair.

 

“Nothing much, except that Mouse here made us all a lovely breakfast”, Varric said. Cassandra made an agitated noise “By putting her life in danger!”

 

Ann gave a slight bow in the Seeker's direction, “I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have. I just wanted to be useful is all”.

 

“I'm sure you do Mouse, I'm sure you do. Great job though, you cook really well you know”.

 

Cassandra just gave a deep sigh, but abandoned her anger after her apology and ate more of the stew. Solas finally joined them fully, filling his own bowl. Ann handed him some tea as well, one he hesitantly accepted with a small smile.

 

He never drank it however, making Ann more nervous. Really, this 'making them all a nice breakfast' thing was all a terrible idea. It made the Angry Lady more angry with her, and the mage didn't even seem to like it. An utter failure. What had she been thinking? Though, it worked really well with her former Master. Damn, she had lost her touch, what else would work?

 

“How are your wounds Herald? Anything I can help with?”, Solas gently asked, though Ann still started at the sudden question. She had bandaged it herself the evening before.

 

She didn't dare to lie to him.

 

“They're itchy, but don't hurt so much as yesterday”

 

“Do you mind if I-?”

 

“N-no, please, go ahead”, though Ann kept her head down and tensed when she felt his hands on her arm. _He_ _helped you before, he_ _is not going to hurt you, calm down, don't flinch_.

 

But she still flinched a little when he started to use magic, healing her. Then, he removed the bandages, revealing scar-less skin. “T-thank you”.

 

“It's nothing”

 

Cassandra by now was checking the map, frowning slightly.

 

“So, Seeker, what are we going to kill today?”, Varric asked conversationally.

 

She frowned in his direction, before focusing once more on the map in front of her. “We still haven't heard from Master Dennet. We should investigate what's going on.”

 

Ann's hands froze over the arrow she was working on. _Master_ Dennet? Did that mean he kept slaves? Suddenly she felt afraid, as though meeting this guy would somehow mean the end for this strange 'freedom' she has been experiencing so far.

 

The others did not notice her pause, all looking at Cassandra or the map.

 

“What about the reinforcements Seeker?”

 

“They should be here any time Solas, though I'm not sure if we can wait for them. Since Dennet failed to respond to any of our letters, I fear for his life. And we do need those horses.”

 

“Yeah, but I doubt it will be a nice stroll for us to get there,” Varric commented, “Don't we go near the main fighting area? You know, the place where a whole village was burned to the grounds?”

 

“Not unless we take the long route around”

 

Ann doubted it was that easy. Didn't the encounter yesterday prove that there were also rebel mages in that area as well? What else was lurking there in the mountains?

 

It wasn't safe anywhere it seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow it makes more sense to me that Cullen would be more involved, expecially in the beginning when the Inquisition is not that big yet. What else are they going to use the troops for? It's war in the Hinterlands!
> 
> So yeah, anway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks everyone who left comments and kudo's! :-)


	8. Tiredness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cullen and Ann get all akward with each other, sort of.

All her muscles ached and she was mentally exhausted. It felt like she made her first kill years ago, but in reality it couldn't have been longer than two weeks or so. But she had to repeat it dozen times by now, or be killed instead. Saving her own skin, or one of her companions. Survival, that was all it was.

 

Didn't she say the long way round was going to be hell? Oh, right, she never said that _aloud_ , ow well... still, told you so.

 

It didn't help she had to close four or five rifts along the way too. Maker, how many of them were there? Why were people still fighting each other while those things were floating around? At this point it wouldn't surprise Ann if the mages tried to recruit the demons to their side. _Hey mister demon, didn't you know we have so much in common? You like to have revenge, you know, as a revenge demon and_ _all_ _. Would you be so kind as to help us get our revenge and kill those nasty templars over there?_ Ah, that would probably work too. Ann shuddered, but then turned her attention back on the surroundings, scanning the falling darkness.

 

Cassandra was tired as well, but hid it better than Ann or Varric. Solas never complained, but she had spotted him dozing off around the fire at night. Even though it was early, none of them complain when Ann urged them all to get some sleep, volunteering for another round of watches. Everyone needed to rest, herself included. Yet she couldn't shake the feeling that she was expected to keep watch every night, she was lesser than these people after all. It didn't matter how much good she did or arrows she shot, she would always be below them.

 

They had done a lot of things, helping the refugees by sending in supplies from the enemy. It was not like they needed them anymore anyway. It was amazing what the people here lacked, clothing, food, basic medical supplies, the list went on and on. The mages and templars didn't care who got caught in their war, as long as they got a chance to get at each others throats. They were pulling this land apart, ruining peoples lives, yet still they persisted in their anger, their fight. It was utter madness, that's what it was.

 

Ann tried desperately to keep herself awake, but even so it was hard. Being on edge every waking moment, she would not be able to handle this much longer. However, in an hour or two then it was .. who's turn again? Her hand wiped her face in annoyance. She better not wake the wrong person _again_.

 

Then she heard it, voices, soft conversation. Ann's ears twitched at the sound, quickly turning around, but they were still too far off. Her heart was beating in her throat. This never happened before, but people visiting in the night, though still early, that couldn't be good right? She hesitated for a second before rushing to wake Cassandra.

 

“Hey, _hey_ , wake up!”

 

Cassandra reluctantly woke up, than looked annoyed. “Don't tell me you forgot to wake the _dwarf_ again!”

 

Ah, right, it was Varric's turn this evening. Instead of answering, she said urgently “people approaching”, motioning her to follow, before moving quickly to wake the others.

 

Cassandra just had enough time to curse, before the noises got louder. Now Ann could get a look at them, and it didn't look good. They were outnumbered at least 4 to 1. Praying that Varric and Solas would wake up on their own, Ann took cover, peaking around a boulder. She readied her bow, waiting. They must have seen their fire now, even though they are humans. Their eyesight is horrible but still, it would be difficult to miss the bright light. Why weren't they charging yet? Why weren't they in formation?

 

She more felt than saw a barrier covering her, indicating that at least Solas was awake as well. Rushed footsteps, then she saw Cassandra lurking in the shadows, trying to assess the situation. Meanwhile, Ann aimed an arrow to one of the approaching solders, waiting for a command to shoot. The soldiers were wearing familiar armor though, but in the darkness it was difficult to see. Ann frowned, trying to make it out.

 

“Don't tell me they left the camp undefended!”, a voice, familiar, exclaimed. Ann blinked in surprise, wasn't that-?

 

“Commander Cullen?”, Cassandra called out.

 

Now the Commander himself came into view. His armor caught the light, reminding her of the first time she saw him. Relaxing her posture, Ann lowered her bow and slowly got up. Looking over her shoulder, she spotted Solas and Varric doing the same, relief evident on their faces.

 

“Ah good that we finally found you! You know we passed several piles of corpses before we got here? I feared the worst”, he shook Cassandra's hand.

 

“Yeah, well, that was our work alright. They didn't know what hit them.”

 

Cullen frowned, “What are you guys up to? We haven't had contact in weeks. Why are you taking this route?”

 

“What do you mean? I send you three ravens, one over two week ago when we arrived in the Hinterlands, then another five days later and another one the day before yesterday. Isn't that how you find us?”

 

“Raven? Never received it, I only got the one saying your safe arrival, the one from scout Harding”

 

Cassandra looked deeply troubled by this information. Before long though, they launched into a tactical discussion, discussing the situation at Haven and other things that happened in their absence.

 

The adrenaline from before was now retreating and she again felt how tired she was, her head hurting in time with her heartbeat. But she also felt relief. They were not longer with only four of them, no, now they were a small army. The pressure of responsibility never felt so light.

 

Soldiers were trying to add more tents to the secluded space. Instead of sitting around, she got up to help. It was expected of her at this point, Ann thought, but the soldiers seem surprised nonetheless, though gratefull. By the time they were finished, it was well into the night.

 

Cassandra and Cullen were still in deep conversation, now comparing maps. “Don't know how they can keep it up all the time! Sometimes Cassandra seems like a machine to me”, Varric remarked lightly, also watching the two. His hair was a mess and his clothing had seen better days. She guessed she looked the same. She again wondered when she would be forced to cut her hair, running one hand through it to force it down. Hopefully not for a long while, she liked how it felt like when the wind played with it.

 

Ann gave a small laugh despite herself. During the weeks of fighting along side Varric, she had learned she could let her guard down somewhat when he was around. And somehow Cassandra being a machine seemed both ridiculous as well as not far from the truth. “I doubt that machines have tempers Varric”

 

“Ah! I wouldn't be so sure of that, the stories I could tell you. There was this golem once”, he trailed of, lost in thought.

 

“Well, I, for one, am not a machine. You think we could sneak back into the tents to sleep without the Seeker noticing? They will be sitting there for hours yet I bet”, she desperately wanted to rest, even though the nightmares would probably keep her up for most of the night. Maybe, tonight, she would be lucky and she could rest for most of it. And it not, at least she could close her eyes and rest her head. She was pushing herself too far as of late.

 

Varric shrugged, “Worth a try, just make sure you sneak past, ehm, Cassandra's back”

 

Ann nodded, before doing just that. She almost lost her balance with how tired she was. When was the last time she had a good night rest? When was the last time her live was _not_ in danger?

 

But then Cullen spotted her and called her over. “Herald, please join us!”

 

Heart sinking, she made her way over to them. Varric gave her a grimace before retiring to his own tent. The world was so very unfair.

 

And Maker, what did she do now? She knew she was a poor excuse of a 'Herald', what was it going to be this time? But instead of scolding her, they wore small smiles on their faces. This made her feel even more nervous, yet exhaustion made her want to disregard it all, drop into her tent and sleep.

 

“Good for you to join us”, the Commander began, his eyes going to her hair and then her eyes, “We were really worried back at Haven due to the lack of news. Sounds like you have been in a fair bit of fights so far, and handled yourself very well”, he looked down at her, looking .. proud?

 

Ann looked towards the ground, frowning slightly, confused. Whatever it was that she expected, this was not it. She never got compliments, not her, not the _elf_ that was only good for cleaning and serving food. Unless ... unless they tried to make her feel comfortable and _then_ strike with the insults, it would then hurt all the harder. It wouldn't be the first time either, she remembered with a shudder.

 

Wariness flowed over her like a wave, before she responded softly, “Just doing my job sir”.

 

Cullen frowned slightly, as if not completely liking her comment. _Here it comes_ , Ann thought, mentally preparing herself for the worst.

 

“But still”, he tried again, “there is a vast difference to doing what is expected of you and doing it well. I know it must be hard, I gathered that you had never killed before, and yet you saved peoples lives on numerous occasions”, he studied her, trying to catch her reaction.

 

Ann froze. This wasn't right, this wasn't an insult or a threat of punishment. What's the deal? What was he aiming for? Being so tired made it difficult to think. She just couldn't believe the idea that he might be serious, though what was he planning?

 

Seconds past, before she struggled the words out, “I-.. T-thank you sir”. Then Cassandra added, “It's true, you have worked very hard these last few weeks. You should be proud of yourself.”

 

Ann glanced at her before looking back to the ground, her ears reddening. Great, and the Seeker is in on it too. Did they really expect her to believe them?

 

But then they moved on to other matters. Cullen started to explain what they knew about the area they were in. Ann lost her focus after two sentences or so. She was so very tired. And he was sitting not far from her, she could just lean in and rest her eyes a bit. She even started to move a little, before her mind caught up. Wait, what was she doing? “- rumors of a cult that prays to the rifts as if they are a gift of the Maker. They are stationed-”

 

“What!?!”, Cassandra butted in, “They are actually thinking the Maker would send us these, these monsters!?!”. Ann blinked rapidly, trying to keep her eyes open.

 

“Can't say I agree with their logic Seeker.” Cullen said tiredly. “As I was saying, they are stationed -”.

 

On and on it went, Maker, when could she rest? Her blinks took longer and longer, and in the end she closed her eyes completely.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Next thing she knew, she shot upright, breathing heavily. Ann frowned, disorientated, looking around in confusion. She was in her tent, only Cassandra was nowhere to be found. Wasn't she dreaming about something? What was it though? Something about running ... some dark voice and... green light? Deciding she didn't particular wanted to know, she got dressed. It was already light out, she should start and make tea for everyone as usual.

 

However, she found she was not the only one awake. One or two soldiers were standing guard, while one of them was busy near the fire. The smell of stew was in the air, making her stomach growl. A glance at the sky told her it was later than usual for her to wake up. They would probably need to move out soon, but where were the others?

 

When she neared the fire, she noticed someone already made the tea for today. In fact, the tasks she would normally do where already taken care of. Ann was standing near the fire, thinking what to do, when the Commander called to her, “Good morning Herald!”. He was sitting at almost the same place as last night, looking relaxed and eating a bowl of stew.

 

She blinked at him. Didn't they had a conversation yesterday? What about though? Now she thought about it, she couldn't remember they finished it at all. Feeling nervous, Ann approached. “Commander”, she softly greeted, though not meeting his eye. She had this feeling she missed most of yesterday's conversation due to her falling asleep. Surely that warranted punishment? And now that she thought about it, how _did_ she end up in her tent last night? She swallowed, her ears turning pink.

 

“You should eat something, we will pack up as soon as the scout party returns”, he offered her a bowl with the delicious smelling stew. Again feeling confused, Ann carefully accepted the bowl with a shy thanks, making sure her hands did not touch his, and still not meeting his eyes. Feeling that she shouldn't foolishly stand around with the bowl either, she quickly sat down on the floor and then slowly sampled it. It was hot, but it had a very nice, rich flavor.

 

She was so focused on eating that she didn't notice him studying her, so she was startled by his sudden question, “What are you afraid of?”.

 

Ann looked at him, before staring at her bowl again. Was this a way to start the punishment? To decide how to hurt her? She swallowed, but didn't know how to answer his question. What did he want to hear?

 

After a few seconds of silence, he elaborated, “Your body language just screams tension, though you should be glad we are here to help settled the situation. I admit I was worried when we never heard anything from you- ehm your group. Anything could have happened”.

 

Ann frowned at her bowl. What was he getting at?

 

“You could have been killed in numerous situations, yet you managed to defend yourself and the others. The situation here is far from stable, but you shouldn't be afraid now. I, well, _we_ will not let anything happen to you. You are safe with us. We will defend you at all cost.”

 

She looked at him, her head tilted.

 

Cullen looked at her, smiling slightly, and looking so utterly sincere that she said what was on her mind before she could stop the words. “Aren't you going to punish me sir?”

 

He blinked, as though not expecting the question. “What for?”

 

His golden hair was moving slightly in the wind, catching the sunlight, while he looked at her in confusion. She was staring, she should stop staring. Yet he really didn't seem to know what she was referring to. Could it really be he was not _planning_ to punish her lack of discipline? She fell asleep during a meeting! Surely he would-

 

She stared back at her food, feeling nervous and suddenly wishing she hadn't mentioned the punishment. Yet she couldn't just leave it now. “I fell asleep during a meeting with you sir. Surely that-”

 

“Oh that, well erhm, forget it. I shouldn't have- ehm - insisted to-”

 

He was struggling to get the words out, but the meaning was clear enough. He hadn't _planned_ to punish her at all. She slowly looked at him, feeling hopeful for some unknown reason. Without realizing, she relaxed her shoulders and sat a little straighter. Cullen however, looked away from her, clearing his throat and looking a little pink.

 

It must have been the stew, it _was_ a bit spicy after all.

 

Ann turned back to her food, brushing her hair behind her ears. It stubbornly moved back into her eyes. She was nearly finished eating when Cullen suddenly commented, “Won't your hair get in the way like that?”. Ann met his eyes for just a second, before shying away again. She sort of expected the comment at some point, so she responded automatically, “I'm sorry sir, I will cut it as soon as possible”.

 

“What? No! That's not what I meant”, her eyes shot up at this. “I meant I like- I mean why don't- ehm”

 

Now _he_ didn't meet her eyes. Weird. Cullen tried to get the words out for a few seconds more, Ann studying him all the while. Then he rubbed his neck, his face turning pink again. “You know what, forget I said anything”, then he suddenly got up. Her eyebrows shot up at this strange behavior. “Herald”, he curtseyed, before leaving her. She stared at his retreating back, trying to grasp what the hell just happened. What was he trying to say? Did he really said he _liked_ her hair like this? Before she could ponder this further, she noticed that Varric was walking over. And the dwarf looked very amused. He took the seat that the Commander just vacated.

 

“Hey Mouse! What's with the bewilderment on your face? What did you and Curly talk about?”

 

Ann looked again at the Commander, who was now in conversation with one of his soldiers. A feeling she couldn't name was floating in her belly, and with a small smile, she said, “You know what? I have no idea”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers! Sorry it took so long to get this one on the site! I actually written the chapter some time ago, only to completely rewrite it again. I like it much better now, and I hope you like it too!


	9. Eye contact

It was weird to move in such a big group. For weeks, Ann was used to just the four of them, moving quickly and effectively. In truth, she was just feeling comfortable with the group's dynamics. Now however with more people, progress felt sluggish in comparison. She was sure that it was way safer, though it felt she had to find her place all over again.

 

And they kept her from doing her usual jobs.

 

It started with the tea in the morning, but it quickly expanded to the picking of herbs, collecting wood, preparing dinner, they even kept her from taking watches. Even Varric noticed, and he kept saying it was because they wanted to lift some of the weight from her shoulders. She wanted to believe that, but it felt like they didn't trust her for some reason. As if they thought she couldn't handle it.

 

Well, to be fair, she _did_ fall asleep during that one meeting ...

 

It all meant she had to become creative to make sure she kept busy. She hated sitting still and let others do the work. It was just .. not done. And she could handle the stress, she could. Instead of preparing food, she now made sure she and others had enough arrows, made sure the few horses were tended to, and she was the first to volunteer to help break up camp. Anything to keep her hands busy. Cassandra didn't mind too much, at this point used to her need to help out, though reminded her from time to time she was the _Herald_ and should start acting like it (What did that mean anyway?!?). The other soldiers though protested a bit at first. She actually needed to insist at some point, which was awkward. Why didn't they just accept her help and be done with it? There were tons of little things to do!

 

The Commander, she noticed, was now avoiding looking at her. It hurt a little, though she couldn't justify the feeling at all. Ann found it hard to know what to think of him. At one instance he would be so self-assure, giving orders and managing their team, while in more private moments he would stammer and not know what to say. As if he felt uncomfortable with her. It was strange. She was sure it was her fault somehow, but she hadn't figured out how to go fix it. She wasn't even sure _why_ she wanted to fix it so badly, but the thought that he somehow disliked her was ...

 

She quickened her stride, making sure to keep up, even though she would rather move in the opposite direction all together. They were near Master Dennet's place now and she was not looking forward to this meeting. Was he as bad as her previous Master? How much trouble would he cause? However, when they arrived, the farm seemed as good as deserted. Except for the horses, no-one seem to be there. Cassandra and Cullen moved further up a hill, determined to check every building, while others were spreading out to check the fields.

 

Ann moved around, checking out the pond. She was kinda hopeful this Master Dennet might not be here after all, that would be a relief. Oh look, there was blood lotus here! Also, this seemed like an excellent place to set up camp. She was clearing the place further, when she heard a noise. Ann's ears twitched, looking around. What was that noise? Taking a few steps, she squinted in the direction of the sound, however there were too many rocks in the way to see. Standing as still as possible, she strained her ears. A .. waterfall? Yes, that must be it. Though her gut said something different. It sounded more like-

 

“Herald! Come over here! We found him!”, Cassandra was motioning for her to follow. Feeling suddenly nervous, she made her way to Master Dennet. Of course, _of course_ he would still be here. And of course they would need her. A Master needed a slave after all. Biting her lip, she moved inside, ignoring the curious glance from Cullen.

 

She didn't dare to move her eyes further up than the stone floor. Cassandra seemed impatient though to get the conversation started.

 

“So, here she is, let's get to it then?”

 

“Ah”, an old voice said with a strong Ferelden accent. “so you are from the Inquisition he? The one they call the Herald? Heard you are going to try to fix that thing in the sky. Good time someone did!”

 

She dared a glance at him through her hair. He wore simple clothing and looked like he had been outside for most of the day. Dark skin, straw and mud on his boots, white hair in slight disarray and a small beard. He looked nice enough, but looks could be deceiving.

 

“Name's Dennet. I served Arl Eamon for thirty years as horsemaster. I hear your Inquisition is looking for mounts”.

 

It seemed he was waiting for a reply from her. Slightly confused as to why he didn't introduce himself as 'Master' Dennet, she said, “Yes it is sir”.

 

“Well, I can't help you at the moment I'm afraid”, he sighed, “I can't just send a hundred of the finest horses in Ferelden down the road like you'd send a letter. Every bandit between here and Haven would be on them like flies on crap! You'll have mounts once I know they won't end up as a cold winter's breakfast.”

 

During this speech, she stood a little straighter, taking in his clothing more fully and became more and more confused. He didn't look at all like she expected him to look like. He looked, well, _dirty_ to put it bluntly. Like he actually worked on the farm himself. Also his manner of speaking and body language just .. was not was she expected from someone who owned slaves, was a Master of ...

 

Then suddenly it hit her, and it was so obvious she felt an idiot for not thinking about it earlier. He was a Master of horses. HORSES, not people. Relief flowed through her, though she hoped it was not showing on her face. Luckily, Cullen broke the silence.

 

“So you want us to stabilize the region here”, and at the nod from Dennet they discussed what exactly he needed.

 

Cassandra didn't seem too happy that they had to wait for the horses, but well, Dennet did have a point. It was luck that the Commander's men were right on spot really, this way they could divide the work between them. Cullen and his men would build the watch towers, while Cassandra and her little group would take care of the wolves. Easy peasy. Right?

 

“In the meanwhile”, Dennet turned to her specifically this time, “I would like you to take the purebred Fereldan forder in the stables. It's the least I can do on short notice. Take care of him and he will take care of you”

 

She blinked at him, blushing slightly at the sudden attention. A gift? For her? “I-I.. thank you sir”, she gave him a little bow. Now Dennet laughed good naturally, but he replied, “Well, it's the least I could do for the Herald of Andraste”.

 

Was she really so afraid of this guy? Seriously?

 

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

 

They did indeed made camp next to the small pond. Ann hid a smile while helping setting things up, suddenly proud of herself. Commander Cullen was even talking of making a more permanent Inquisition camp here! Sweet.

 

“I'll contact Leliana with our progress, at least our ravens can be trusted .. hopefully”, Cullen muttered. Ann didn't get it. Ravens were suppose to be superior to the regular pigeon. They were faster and could defend themselves against predators. So who would be desperate enough to try to intercept them? Mulling over this question in her head, she continued with one of the tents, rubbing sweat from her forehead. Nearly finished now.

 

Then she heard it again. Something like .. like a mix of ... She stopped in the middle of tying a knot, trying her hardest to listen. Unfortunately, there were now too many people walking about, setting up things and the murmur of conversations. Frowning, Ann quickly finished the knot.

 

“There should be a river close by” Cassandra said conversationally, “It would be nice to bath for once”. Distracted, Ann turned to her. The Seeker was not a talk active person, though perhaps she talked more than Solas. No, Solas could stay quiet for days on end, only to ask the most curious questions out of thin air. Turning back to the conversation, Ann remarked, “That's nice. Than I can finally wash some of our cloths as well”. The awkward pause from the Seekers end made her look up. Her face was difficult to read, was she upset? No, she was confused, a bit. But it quickly turned into a mix of irritation and pity. Odd combo. “My Lady?”

 

“I was not suggesting you should do our laundry you know”

 

She quickly looked down, her face getting warm from embarrassment. Of course Ann assumed too much again. She was not suppose to do all these things, she should try to be less like a servant and more like the 'Herald' (whatever that meant). Maker, her life was so confusing.

 

Instead of waiting for a reply, the Seeker said “Come, let's see if we can locate it shall we”. Yes, that sounded good. Her face still flushed, she followed. Walking past the pond, she again spotted the blood lotus and her hands itched to do something with them. _Later,_ she promised herself, _when the Seeker is not looking .. too closely_. Their camp was just out of sight when Ann heard the sound from earlier.

 

Only now it was louder.

 

She slowed her step, dread filling her belly. Cassandra first didn't notice, but then stopped as well, turning to her.

 

“What-”

 

“Shh!”, she said, very out of character, but too afraid to apologize. Passing a stunned Seeker, she lowered herself to the ground and crawled forward. She needed to confirm her suspicions. Noises behind her indicated Cassandra had lowered herself as well. Good. Slowly, she pushed herself to the top of the small hill, before carefully peering past it. Then she finally saw them. _Demons_. A lot of them. Their cries mostly lost in the waterfall behind them. And there was one of the biggest rift she has seen so far to finish off the perfect scenery. _Damn_.

 

“ _Damn”,_ Cassandra whispered next to her in the grass. Her thoughts exactly.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“Well, we can't let them stay there with our camp so near. It's too dangerous.” Cullen looked his soldiers in the eye one by one, finishing up the attack plan. “We are going to engage before nightfall.” When his eyes fell on Ann, he quickly looked back to his map. At this point, she was not the only person who noticed, Varric looked at him with a small smile, as if amused. Ann frowned a little, then stared at her toes. Why did the Commander hate her so much?

 

“You know what to do, let's do it!”

 

Soldiers saluted and Ann quickly followed their example before rushing off to get in position. It was going to be a tight fit. The best option was to get around and attack from both sides, but was not feasible. Sighing, Ann dropped herself in the grass and crawled the last bit, waiting for the others to get in position. They would need to attack head's on, though the approach was narrow. The archers would buy the soldiers some time, but they needed to be quick. Her arrow trembled a bit in her bow as she prepared herself, soft noises surrounding her as the others got in position. For some reason, she had a bad feeling about this. She carefully peered through the grass towards the waterfall.

 

There seem to be more of them than last time. Twenty, maybe twenty-five demons? While she was counting, she heard the soft approach of Varric as he settled to her right. Somehow that made her feel a bit calmer. She was not alone, he would have her back. And she his.

 

Cassandra moved a bit further in, keeping close to the rocks. She would be their last line of defense, keeping out of the main fight. The Seeker didn't like that idea, but she didn't protest either as Cullen was really set on the idea.

 

Ann's hands were sweating, but she held her grip. When would the Commander give the damn signal already?! She meant to only glance to her left, but then noticed that Cullen was getting ready not too far from her. He quickly looked over his men before his gaze met hers. Somehow she couldn't look away from that intense gaze. And he didn't brake the link either. Her fear made place for ... something else, something she couldn't fully understand, before Cullen gave her a small nod and looked up.

 

And there was the signal.

 

Soldiers rushed in, war cry on their lips. Of the archers, Ann was one of the first to respond, sitting up and aiming. The demons were surprised, unsure whom to attack first. Before they recovered, her arrow shot one through its ugly head, Varric following suit with one of the other demons. Two down, 23 to go? She quickly grabbed another arrow.

 

Solas did his best to give a barrier to as many soldiers as possible, but even that did not prevent casualties. However, the Commander made sure to get his revenge, killing more demons himself than several soldiers combined. Ann meanwhile was pleased that she spend so much time on making arrows the last few days. She definitely needed them now. However, now the demons were getting out of shooting range, damn it. Frustrated, she got up and quickly moved closer, Varric on her tail. One or two archers rushed to the other side of the battle all together, while Cassandra was keeping an eye on Varric and Ann, following suit.

 

Then the earth near her feet turned bright green. Panicking, she quickly moved out of the way, Cassandra was cursing and hurried to engage. Screeching, the long armed monster literally launched himself from the earth. Varric, having not moved on time, was thrown to the ground, dazed. Ann froze when she spotted more green spots, they were not going to make it like this! They had to retreat. Demons shot themselves from the earth as though it was water, though Ann was already shooting and retreating at the same time. This hopefully would give Cassandra time to attack them from behind. However, at some point she had to run to avoid being hit.

 

Unfortunately, the only way to get out of the way was to move towards the main fight. Several demons were now on her tail, while she blindly ran between soldiers and demons alike, hoping against hope that Cassandra and Varric would be alright. Even now she could only remember flashes of the fight, soldiers fighting with fear in their eyes, several wounded trying to retreat, while there were a sea of demons of different size and shapes pressing on them. One or two demons _flying_ around, turning the summer into winter. The river was spotted with an ugly mix of red and green. Screams and screeches in equal volume.

 

And all the while more demons came out of the rift.

 

She had to try to disrupt the rift if they wanted to have any chance of winning this fight. How was she ever going to be close enough? Frustrated, she turned on spot, scanning the environment. But then she needed to dodge several demons again to keep herself in one piece, wishing she had some experience with daggers to kill them more effectively. After taking care of those lesser demons, an idea struck her. It was a risky idea, but what else could she do?

 

Before she could change her mind, she searched the sea of demons when her eyes fell on the long legged green spiders things. Getting a few rocks, she threw them as hard as she could in their direction. One of them got hit on its shoulder and it turned to hiss in her direction. “Come on then, you ugly piece of shit! Show me what you got!”, retreating a few steps, taunting it to come closer.

 

That sounded way more confident that she was feeling. Someone might or might not have been screaming at her, she couldn't tell. She was too focused on this thing as she was trying to mock into doing what she wanted it to do. Only afterwards she realized that Cullen had looked at her in fear, yet unable to interfere as he struggled through the horde of demons.

 

Then finally it snapped, diving into the earth. At the same time, green light appeared at her feet. Good. She tried to guess where its 'shoulders' would go, before bending her knees and braced herself.

 

Then it jumped up, Ann using its momentum to jump up and up. Right on top of the waterfall. The impact was none too gentle and she almost slide right off the rock she was aiming for. It was just so very slippery, but after a few struggles she managed, pushing herself into a sitting position. Down below the creature gave an angry cry, as though it lost track of her. She gave small laugh, but quickly focused on the rift that was now much nearer to her. Heart pounding and adrenaline rushing through her vanes, she disrupted the rift, hand shaking.

 

The effect it had on the fight below was immediate. With all the demons dazed for a minute or so, the soldiers could pick them one by one, and it didn't take long before they were victorious. The rift itself felt angry, but it showed the usual change in shape, indicating that Ann could close it. It took considerable force to do so, as though it wanted to resist every step of the way. When it finally snapped shut, people were cheering down below.

 

Ann let herself drop on the slippery rock, staring towards the sky, panting. They did it. They did it! She smiled softly, closing her eyes and wiping her face. Her many pains made itself known, she had small scratches everywhere, several bruises and her muscles were shaking from the exertion. Did she really just jumped on top of a waterfall?! Crazy, utterly insane. The thought made her laugh. At some point, however, the worry got the better of her and she slowly sat up. Peering downwards, she scanned the people for Varric and Cassandra. Were they alright?! Please let them be alright!

 

There, in the back, Cassandra was still standing, thick blood on her sword, walking around through the wounded. Varric was sitting on a rock, nursing his right knee. They both looked tired, but alright. Then she spotted Cullen, he was frowning at her, though she wasn't sure why. They had won! He should be happy! Feeling light weighted, she waved at him, not realizing she wore a big smile on her face. He gave her a dubious small smile, as though he tried hard to suppress it, shaking his head slightly.

 

At some point though, tension came back in her muscles when she realized. _Ah_ _f_ _uck, how do I get down again!?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me not be the only one that had major problems to close that rift the first few times! Alright, I might have exaggerated it ... a bit ... 
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, somehow this one was way easier to write than the previous one! I might skip some events in the next chapter though, just to speed up the story a little bit. I'm getting impatient for the story to get going. 
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter and again thanks for reading!


	10. Storytellers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning, mention of bloody violence!

_The other servants found Bernd's body close to dinner time, at the dummy stand. He had been shot with arrows in the shoulder and the neck,_ _his_ _cloths_ _drenched in blood_ _. Her stomach clenched painfully at the sight. Maker,_ _he was a good man,_ _why did he have to die? Oh who would do such a thing? What in Andraste's name happened?_ _The Master was not at home, which made the whole ordeal more shocking, almost calculating._ _The cook was_ _just as shocked as they were_ _, but continued to prepare the meal_ _nonetheless_ _._

 

_The nobles were impatient people after all, and not known for their kindness or understanding._

 

 _Her mind was not on her task when she served dinner. It was with the poor girls that now had to live without a farther, and Julie, who had to somehow take care of them alone._ _Oh no, no, she had to try to help_ _her_ _somehow_ _._ _Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes and she tried not to think about how he had,_ _in a way,_ _been a farther to her as well._ _“-and it was so cool! Did you see his face when you ordered him to stand in front of it? He nearly pissed himself!”_

 

“ _Next time though, do try to aim better, the lad was screeching like a girl-_ _”_

 

“ _\- and filthy! Ugh!_ _Removing him from this planet is a blessing really-_ _”_

 

 _Suddenly she realized they were talking about Bernd and_ _k_ _nocked over a glass of wine in shock. She caught it just in time, only spilling it on the table._ _They were now looking at her in disgust, and she knew punishment would soon follow._

 

 _Anger was fighting fear, while she stared at these evil people in shock_ _. They just killed an innocent person._ _And they did it f_ _or sports!_

 

 _Later that evening, she was running through the hallways,_ _tears running down her cheeks_ _._ _Her thoughts went miles a minute, ideas forming and discarded._ _She_ _had to do something, she had to!_

 

 

_\----------------------------_

 

 

Getting down the waterfall was the most embarrassing experience ever, and that included walking in on two servants kissing back home. With half their clothing missing. Right. How she ever thought they hated each others she never knew.

 

Her ears were still burning slightly in embarrassment by the time dinner was served, listening to another retelling of the fight by Varric. He must have been in another one all together, for that is not how it happened! She didn't _fl_ _y_ on top of that waterfall! Nor did she dance across the battlefield to slash each demon down, and she sure as hell did not use magic! Well... except maybe the magic of the Mark, but still!

 

Solas was quiet, only just finished with healing of the wounded. Miraculously, nobody died, but it had been a close call and he was tired, completely drained. To distract herself from _another_ retelling (really, when were they going to get bored of it!?), she offered him a bowl with food and a cup of tea. The mage blinked at her a couple of time, before accepting the bowl and mug with a nod of thanks.

 

After supper, they finally got enough of the story to focus on other things. People went about their business, and Ann was just thinking to sneak of to get some blood lotus when someone got out a small flute. Ann looked curiously as he started to play and it didn't take long for one other to join in singing. The lyrics were simple and it sounded like it wasn't the first time he sang them either. Others soon tried to sing along.

 

Then the guitar came and the song felt more complete than ever. Oh she felt so jealous! Music filled the air and some people started to dance, celebrating the days events.

 

Torn by the urge to join in and the feeling she was the odd duck in the group, she kept to the side line. Also, she missed her home. Sure, it was far from perfect, with all the work and the distrust from the other slaves, especially since the .. well ...

 

But just the same, it was still her home. And she hasn't been home for ages now. Would they manage without her? Who was playing the guitar now she wasn't there? Did they miss her at all or hate her for leaving them all behind for so long? Did they feel betrayed? Or worse, did they think she was dead? Ann tore her eyes from the display, frowning to the ground. She rubbed her neckline at the edge of the metal band, lost in thought.

 

 

\--------------------------

 

 

The next few days were uneventful in comparison. Cullen's men made short work with the watch towers, while Ann and the others tackled the wolf problem. Why did most problems involve demons!? Dennet was indeed very pleased and agreed to send the horses. Cassandra even managed to recruit him for their cause.

 

With things stabilizing, they decided to go back to Haven.

 

By now most of the soldiers got used to Ann's 'strange' behavior to help out with the most trivial tasks. She made sure everyone got their equal share of the meals, noted who favored tea and who didn't. Why didn't she realize sooner Solas didn't like tea at all? She could have offered him something else.

 

It didn't take her long to realize that the Commander ate little. Too little.

 

Still, being around him made her nervous, but she couldn't let him neglect himself like that! And didn't he have an example function as well, being Commander and all? Why did he eat so little? Was it really her place to say something? She was only a little thing, not important, she shouldn't bother him. Should she? Biting her lip, she glanced at Cullen again, debating.

 

“Hey Mouse! What's with all the secret glances?”. Ann jumped at the sudden intrusion of her thoughts. Varric smiled at her, while her face felt hot for some reason. “I-I.. what?”. Varric raised an eyebrow in question, amused. And somehow that got her really annoyed. He didn't get it, did he? Was she really the only one who noticed? Really, how was starving yourself a laughing matter? So she whispered to him, “he's not eating you know”, as though sharing a big secret.

 

The dwarf tilted his head, as though not sure he heard it correctly, “who?”. Oh for the love of- “The Commander of course! Usually he just pokes it a bit, takes a few bites and than leaves it for someone else to finish! It's not right, it's not healthy”. She still tried to keep her voice down, but it was hard when she felt passionately about the subject.

 

“You sure are very observant about his habits”, he commented. Ann frowned, now her ears heating up as well, “And yours as well, you are usually the one that finishes his meals actually.” She really wanted to add 'is one serving not good enough for you?', but thought better of it. Varric was a friend of hers, true, but still he was above her and she should stay civil at the very least. No need to start fighting over such a trivial thing as how _observant_ she was over who ate what and when. Was it really so surprising she noticed? It _had_ been her job for so many years...

 

“Ah well”, Varric replied vaguely, “all this fighting makes a dwarf hungry, and I need to do double amount of steps just to keep up. Besides, Curly insists he eats enough, so-”

 

“Well, he lies”, she said flatly. He raised an eyebrow at her, thinking. “Okay, say he does, how are you going to fix it?”

 

“You .. you think I should?”

 

“Well, you offered food to me or the others often enough already! Why would Cullen be any different?”, he looked serious, but there was a mischief glint in his eyes as well.

 

“Well, h-he's the commander and .. stuff... it's not my place-”, she said awkwardly.

 

“But,” Varric interrupted, “you are also the Herald! If you say something about it he will feel bound to do better”.

 

She highly doubted that. She was no-one special, no matter how often Cassandra and Varric claimed otherwise. Sure, she could close the rifts, but that was about it. She wasn't even that great with a bow either.

 

Varric must have seen the doubt on her face, for he said, “Don't underestimate the power of that title, many think you are the one who is going to save us all from this messed up situation. Besides, Curly likes you”

 

Her stomach fluttered at that revelation, “What?”, surely he was pulling her leg or something.

 

“Of course he does! And after that stunt you pulled of a few days ago, I bet you're on his mind all the time”, he smiled at her, but otherwise looked very much serious.

 

No, he must be joking, he must be. No way that the Commander would feel anything for her, it was a ridiculous notion. No, at most he would consider her a friend, but even that seemed highly unlikely. Friends between a servant, _a slave_ and one of her superiors? Ridiculous! Besides, he ignores her all the time! Yet, somehow, deep down she hoped Varric was right.

 

A hope that was difficult to bury.

 

She shook her head, laughing a little, nervous. Varric did not share her (forced) humor, but luckily did not press the matter either.

 

In the end she decided to offer him a tea with a good spoonful of honey added. Nerves raging in her stomach, she made her way over. At first he did not notice her at all, but than one of the soldiers, Alfred, saluted to her. She almost turned around to check if Cassandra was behind her when he said, “Lady Herald”. Cullen jumped a little, facing her. Was he angry for disturbing him?

 

She swallowed her nerves, before curtseying, “Commander”.

 

Cullen quickly followed, giving a little bow, “Herald, what- ehm”. His face turned slightly red, which Ann thought to be a bad sign, so she quickly cut him off, “I-I thought you would need this sir”, than offered him the steaming mug. He took it automatically. She curtseyed again before retreating, avoiding his eyes.

 

She watched him closely afterwards, and she felt relieved he finished the brew Ann made for him.

 

 

\------------------------

 

 

When they finally got back in Haven, Ann was surprised to see so many people. It seemed a lot more joined up, and quite a few of them tried to get a glimpse of 'the Herald'. Ducking her head, Ann followed the footsteps of the person in front of her.

 

She was grateful that name tags were not obligatory and more grateful still that she was allowed longish hair. As it was, she entered Haven mostly unnoticed, seemingly just another soldier. She got almost all the way to her cabin when Cassandra caught up with her, “Come, meeting in the war room when you're ready”.

 

How did the Seeker manage everything so swiftly? Probably she just dumped her bag in her cabin for the servants to fuss over. Sighing, Ann left compelled to do the same, noted that the place was spotless with no dust to speak of, a fire burning in the heart. What would it be nice to just take a moment to enjoy the nice, quiet ...

 

Sighing heavily, she turned away from the invitation and left for the meeting room. Without the heavy bag and the crowd of soldiers around her, people started to notice the 'Herald' was among them. Already she heard whispers about how she appeared in Haven as if out of thin air. _No, not another wild story ..._

 

Varric would be sooo pleased ...

 

When she finally arrived in the meeting room, the talks were already well on the way it seemed. She got a swift smile and nod from Josie - no _Josephine_ \- and that was about it.

 

“-just doesn't make any sense!”, Cullen was saying, gesturing with his hands. “Aren't they suppose to be able to defend themselves?”

 

Leliana did not seemed bothered by his tone, “They can, and usually they will. However, something or someone seem to be targeting our ravens directly, intercepting our messages and killing the birds. Luckily they are stupid enough not to hide this fact though, we could use this to our advantage.”

 

“Or it could be a trap”, Cassandra put in, “we need to be cautious!”

 

“And we need to find a better way of communicating”, Josephine was writing with a deep frown on her face, “If we cannot trust the sky to bear our messages, than what do we do? Should we send runners with messages instead?”

 

The Commander was already shaking his head at the word 'runners', “Too risky, one person could tell infinitely more than one coded letter”.

 

“Or, could we use some other way of speeding up the delivery? There must be a way”, Cassandra said frustratingly.

 

“What about normal birds?”, Ann heard herself asking.

 

Then suddenly she was the center of attention and she felt herself blushing. Sweet Maker, why did she opened her mouth at all?

 

“That .. could work”, Leliana was saying slowly, “they will not expect us to try something as _mundane_ as that. Especially if we send ravens as decoys so now and then”.

 

Ann found it difficult to keep people's eye contact, so she stared to the ground instead, her face still feeling hot. Yet, she also felt proud of herself, sort of. It was the most logical thing to do. Whomever tried to get their messages, they would expect them to send scouts or runners, hoping to catch one of them alone or off guard. Then they could try and torture much more useful information from them. Ann shuddered slightly at that thought, but the meeting was already continuing to other matters.

 

“Now that we have that settled, how was the Hinterlands? I've heard something about flying and waterfalls?”, Leliana was asking her, a glint in her eyes.

 

Cullen tried to hide a smile, while Ann just tried very hard _not_ to give into the temptation to hide all together. _Be polite or have you forgotten all your manners!?_

 

“Whatever you heard, my Lady, I assure you it has been exaggerated. Greatly”

 

“Ah, shame”

 

“Even though you didn't really fly, the jump was impressive, if a little risky”, Cassandra commented. What she complementing her?

 

“We have heard some great things from Mother Giselle as well, which I doubt has been exaggerated”, Josephine put in. “You have done a fine job!”

 

Ann didn't know what to say to that, and felt mightily embarrassed. Why all the complements? It wasn't as if she played that big of a role. She was useless in fighting, almost died in fact! And wasn't it the Seeker's work that mostly stabilized the region anyway? Why did she get all the praise and Cassandra none?

 

“I-I .. hardly done - not alone and .. ehm”, she stuttered stupidly. No, not her greatest moment.

 

Lucky for her, the meeting drifted to more serious matters, like what to do with Mother Giselle's advice. Turned out she was going to Val Royeaux to try to make the clerics see reason.

 

So, she was going to walk over there, trying to argue with them? Change their minds that she was an innocent little bird? Was that what she was expected to do? Heh, like they would listen. No way that they would listen to a lowly servant. But it seemed like she was the only one with these feelings, besides Cullen maybe, for the other advisers practically _ordered_ her to go.

 

This was going to get messy, she just knew it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, this update took a long time. I'm so sorry! I moved to a new place, and work got really busy and ... sigh ... on the bright side, I still like this story and more and more of it is now crystalizing in my head. 
> 
> Hope you like the update anyhow.


	11. Secrets and double identities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: I don't know anything about how to make your own instruments! Just making it up as I go!
> 
> Somewhat of an 'inbetween' chapter, but it's needed for the story to flow better later. Hope you enjoy!

 

Someone, a servant probably, unpacked her bag during the meeting and put more wood on the fire. Sighing in appreciation, she took off her boots and made it for the chair in front of the welcoming warmth. The only thing missing now would be cup of tea or a blanket.

 

Watching the fire playing licking the wood, Ann's thoughts wondered to all different topics. Like, why did she had to be present for all those meetings? It was not like her opinion really mattered or anything, she didn't have some magic insight that would help them. Alright, granted, sometimes she did help the discussion along. A bit. But she was sure that they could figure it out without her.

 

She could do much more useful things. Like .. making potions, helping Adan, or making more arrows, gathering resources, check in on the horses, repair some of her clothing, make sure Cullen did not pass out due low sugar levels.....

 

Really, there were a million different things she could, no _should_ , be doing instead.

 

And now they were sending her out again, towards the capital even. As a major attraction no doubt. They would just look at her and laugh. No way they could believe the stories that she was somehow the _Herald of fucking Andraste_. How did she ended up in this situation again? It was just a matter of time they would see the real little thing she was.

 

On the other hand, she was the only person who could close the rifts. She couldn't just... ignore it, or give the job to someone else. _Yeah I know I'm your only hope and all, but let's be honest here. I'm not cut for this kind of job, so good luck?_ No, she already decided that she would help to the best of her ability. But it was so hard, their expectations were so high and ... she wasn't sure if she could keep it up.

 

For now though, she could relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. They wouldn't head out for another few days anyway. Ann rubbed her head, sighing. They claimed she needed more training, both in etiquette and on the field. Not that she disagreed on that front, but fighting was far from fun. It might have been nicer if she could try something else than the bow for a change. Probably they wanted to keep her out of the way, so she would be less of a liability. She just ... didn't like archery at all. Not that Ann had any choice in the matter.

 

Now however, it was peace and quiet and she was determined to enjoy it for as long as it was going to last.

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

 

The next day she got up early again. It was just grounded in her system and it helped that finally this strange 'Herald' world was starting feel 'normal'. Or as normal as it would ever feel like. Whatever. Even so, she was not the only one out. Several people were walking swiftly, eager not to be out in the cold too long.

 

Ann put on  a cloak over her armor , making sure her face was mostly covered, before venturing out. She really wanted to check if her 'secret place' was still there.  _ Please Maker let it be untouched _ . She didn't think she would  have the energy  to start all over again with her make-shift instrument. Luckily, when Ann got there, the  beginnings of a  guitar was  still there,  waiting for her, just like she left it . Beautiful and beckoning her to complete it.  Smiling freely for the first time in weeks, she sat down and  prepared to work. Just then she noticed someone left more sophisticated tools behind. Those were not the ones she used before,  no, before she used whatever that would not be missed. A small knife really. But these ...

 

Frowning, she checked to make sure she was really alone before picking them up. These were sharp for proper wood handling. Who left them here? Who? And why? Ann turned them over in her hands, nervous butterflies in her stomach. Well, whomever left them here, it didn't seem like they were wanted anymore. And it wasn't as if they were new either, but they were well cared for. Finally coming to a decision (and checking regularly that she was indeed alone), she started working. More and more wood chippings collected at her feet, while the time ticked away and the sun peaked fully over the horizon. Blowing some of the dust from her piece of art, she traced the beginnings of the headstock. If she worked on it every day when she was at Haven, then maybe in a week or two it would be ready for a first try-out. If she found something for the strings of course. Oh, and some kind of wood oil would be great as well. She would have to keep on eye out for materials. Glancing at the light however, she judged that, for now, she spend enough time on it today.

 

Sighing, she wrapped up her work and cleaned up her workspace, taking special care of the wood carving tools. Surely the Lieutenant was going to start her training soon. Even though she rather stayed here in her little safe heaven to work further, better to face the day before anyone was wondering what she was up to.

 

Quickly leaving the cave, she made her way back towards Haven. When she finally got there, there was a small crowd of people. No, soldiers? Some were already sparring, some with long swords, others with sword and shields. Others were obviously waiting for someone or something. She noticed several bows as well, just like her.

 

Slowing, her eyes went over the crowd to find the Lieutenant, but for some reason he was nowhere to be found. Instead, Ann spotted John and Daniel in one of the groups and she started. Would they recognize her? Hopefully not, it would be nice to have a few friends who talked to her as she was, and not look up at her as if she was some Lady or another. Their superiors.

 

Quickly, she turned the other way, pondering what to do. Should she report to Cullen instead? The idea alone made her very nervous. Then the Commander himself approached them and everyone turned towards him. As though he was expected. Did she make a mistake in her planning? Ann stared at the snow, worrying her lip. Was she suppose to report to Josie instead?

 

“Herald?”, Cullen addressed her and waved her over. _Fuck_. Removing her cloak, she approached him, swallowing her nerves. The group was staring at her curiously and she had to remind herself not to look at the snow and keep her back straight. Show confidence, even though insecurity was trying to take over. Josephine drilled this into her to the point of boredom. She better not disappoint.

 

Ann curtseyed, “Commander”, giving him her full attention, trying to ignore the stares. It was very much the Commander that looked at her now, back straight, one hand resting on his sword, armor shining in the morning sun. He looked tense to her eyes, but she bet others wouldn't have noticed without knowing his manners intimately.

 

Maybe she was watching him too much ...

 

The former Templar addressed her and the assembled soldiers at the same time. “Today we are working on different strategies, working together. Knowing your place on the battlefield.”

 

Ah, so she was working in a group this time. She had done that in practice for the last few weeks, so she could do it again, right? Cullen glanced at her one more time, before laying out the training scheme.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Bumping against someone _again_ , Ann jumped out of the way, frustrated. Really, weren't any of them looking were they were going? Sure, most of them were better with a bow when there was no-one in sight, but when we were in a group and suppose to stay in formation-

 

She missed Varric. At least he knew were he was going with a mind for other people.

 

And it was not only with the moving bit. When they were suppose to shoot while staying in formation, her sight was obscured by armor and elbows. Did they forget about the proper battle formation already!? Nugheads, the whole bunch of them. It would be _their_ fault that she was going to be screamed at by the Commander, no doubt about it.

 

Indeed, when the training was finally over, Cullen was not please. He screamed to a whole bunch of people, but surprisingly (at least for Ann) he ignored her for the most part. Once the scolding was over, he ordered them to keep practicing. He motioned for Ann to follow him, which she did reluctantly. Did he want to punish her in private or something?

 

That did not seem to be the plan though, for he said, “I thought they were ready for this, but it seems like this morning was a waste of time. I apologize Herald, I'll make sure next time they are worthy of you”. How did he always surprise her with saying these kind of things?!? Flustering, she murmured something incomprehensible, face like a tomato. “What? I want you to further improve! Not for you to bump in some recruits who apparently cannot even avoid trees when they are ordered in formation. Maker's breath!” Ann smiled in amusement, ducking her head to hide it. “I'll ask the Lieutenant to continue your training for the time being, that way you will at least continue with your archery skills”. Her heart fell at that comment, but she hid her disappointment well, instead thanking him for his thoughtfulness. He nodded, rubbing his neck, before releasing her to her other duties.

 

Indeed, she was already an hour late for her meeting with the ambassador.

 

The Herald was so late and so frustrated with the morning's events, that she completely forgot to change into 'proper' Lady clothing. Normally she would pay attention to those details, but she has been on the road for so long, she didn't even think about it. It was only half-way during the meeting that Ann realized she was sitting there, sharing lunch and tea while listening to Lady Josephine lecture, _with mud on her boots and filthy armor_. Armor! Sweet Maker!  Why didn't Josie say anything!?!

 

F lustering and apologizing again for her disgraceful appearance, she was finally released from duties for the day.  And this was the day routine for most of her stay in Haven:  First working on her home-made instrument, then t raining in the morning, etiquette and other 'cultural  and history  stuff' at lunch  with Josie , which  usually went well into the afternoon.  At some days, she was asked to join a meeting in the war room, which Ann was to scared to refuse, though those meetings felt like a waste of time. In the evenings,  Ann would study some of Josie's material,  repair or even make some clothing or listen to Varric's tales in the tavern.

 

That was before Lily return from one of her assignments. Ann was just in a killer stroke of bulleyes for the last hour or so when she spotted the rogue. And promptly missed the target all together. Oops. “Aah and you were doing so well today!”, the Lieutenant commented, “You need to stay focused, even if you start to tire”. Ann swallowed, look at the ground in sudden nerves. Luckily he did not ask what distracted her so much.

 

That evening, she didn't study Josie's 'homework', nor did she worked on one of the shirts  that needed  repairing. No, instead she  went to her cabinet, searching.  _ Please let the  _ _ servant  _ _ cloak still be there _ , she prayed.  It was, at the bottom of the drawer, wrinkled  and smelling a bit funny , but it was no matter. 

 

Tonight, she would be Marie.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

When Ann entered the tavern, Lily wasn't there yet, but Varric was sitting at one of the tables. He motioned for her to join him. _Of course he recognizes me,_ Ann thought fondly. He helped create this facade after all.

 

It had taken quite some time for Ann to hide the fact that her hair had grown considerably in the last month or so. In the end, she wrapped a scarf partly over her head, something she had seen other servants do as well. With a bit of make-up here and there to hide some obvious features, she looked like a 'proper' servant.

 

It also helped that people tended to see what they wanted to see.

 

“Hi Master Tetras, how are things?”, she asked politely, slipping into a seat next him. “Not to bad, not bad at all. And you miss ..?”, he left the sentence hanging on purpose, giving a little smile. Yes, he understood she needed to be someone else tonight. “Marie, sir”

 

“Well met”, he handed her a drink and before long, he started one of his stories. Listening contently, she almost didn't notice that Lily joined them. “Marie! How are you?”

 

“Lily! I'm well, and you? How did your mission go?”

 

They hugged. “It went well, but I'm not allowed to say anything about it. It was exciting though!”. Then she spotted Varric, who was watching the exchange with interest. “I know you!”, Lily exclaimed. “Oh Maker! You're the writer! Can I have your autograph!? PLEASE!?”

 

Ann blinked. Was he really that famous?

 

Lily was completely engrossed in Varric's stories. Apparently she was a big fan. _Maybe she should start a fanclub or something?_ Ann mused, not at all bothered. She enjoyed just listening to all the questions that she herself did not dare to ask.

 

At one point though, Varric seemed to think that Ann felt left out, for when the subject turned towards the Inquisition he said, “I journeyed with the Herald to the Hinterlands the last month or so, and I think she is doing really well! Marie, you were there too, what do you think?”

 

Ann started when suddenly she was the center of attention. “I-I ehm, well, she gets things done”, she said awkwardly. “Oh come on, you must have seen her up close! What is she like?”, Lily asked her eagerly, “You think she really is a saint sent to save us all?”. She looked so hopeful that Ann became really nervous. How do you say you think your other self is just a normal person, when people were expecting a hero? She felt anything but.

 

“Well _I_ have seen her praying at numerous occasions”, Varric told her, “and there was this one fight were she just, _flew over the battlefield like a phoenix_ -”. Ann closed her eyes. _Not that 'flying on top of a waterfall'-story again!_

 

Lily listened in rapture, believing every word of it. Ann escaped unnoticed towards the bar to get them all more drinks.

 

Much later, when Varric had excused himself, Lily rounded on her. “Why didn't you tell me you knew him in person!?”. It sounded like an accusation. “I-I don't know him that long you know! We have just been traveling together is all-”

 

“Yeah, about that, so you are one of their servants when they are on a mission?”

 

It didn't really feel like lying to Ann when she nodded in agreement. Wasn't she serving their greater purpose in her own way? Wasn't she a slave of the Inquisition? That sounded about right, she didn't really have a choice in the matter, having the mark and all.

 

“What is it that you do anyway?”, Lily asked, her head tilted.

 

“Well, a bit of everything really. I make sure everyone get's their equal share of meals, repair clothing, washing, that sort of thing”

 

Lily laughed, “I bet it's because of the Herald being a saint and all. They never send servants with military missions. At least not to my knowledge.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you're right”, Ann remarked, “Though it's not only military things they are doing. During their last mission, they recruited quite a number of people actually. It was a lot of work”

 

“I can imagine! How many babies you had to take care of! Ha!”, she snorted at her own joke and Ann gave a smile on her own. For some reason, she thought of Cullen and how she had to pressure him to even except a mug of tea.

 

The rogue was eying her curiously, before sweetly asked her (quite drunk at this point), “sooo, which 'baby' got your _special_ care?”.

 

The Herald just blinked at her for a few seconds, before finally catching on and blushing cherry red. “N-no! Just no! Not like that!”

 

Her friend was now almost falling of her chair, laughing, and Ann joined in, still shaking her head in denial.

 

It was a shame really that she had to leave already tomorrow. She was going to miss this, just being herself and having someone normal to talk to.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in the next chapter they will finally arrive in Val Royeaux! I'm so excited!
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who commented and left kudo's on this work! It's great to read what people think!


	12. The Capital of Nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after a huge delay, here you have the next chapter!

The next day, she woke up so late that she didn't have any time to work on her instrument. As disappointing that was, she wouldn't have trade it for the nice evening she had last night. Lily and 'Marie' agreed to exchange letters to keep in touch, since Lily was likely not coming to Haven in a while after her short break. Even though she was not allowed to tell where she would be going, the rogue hinted it was somewhere further up north and would be gone for several weeks, maybe months. Ann promised to keep an eye on her brother whenever she was in Haven.

 

The day before, Cullen had argued for a military group to accompany the Herald towards the capital, but Josephine would not hear of it. “It will create the wrong impression Commander. We are not out to create a war, we are trying to _prevent_ a war. Or at least prevent it from spreading further”, she sighed. “We should not give the clerics more reason to distrust us”. “That does not mean we cannot send anyone however”, Leliana put in. “I'll make sure the path will be safe, don't worry”. When the Commander still looked worried, Cassandra took his attention by saying “I'll go with her, she will not be harmed”. The Commander gave a short nod in agreement and seemed to push away his reservations.

 

A small group with the Herald left that morning towards Val Royeaux. Even though Ann felt tired from the night before, she was still first at the stables to get all their horses ready on time. To be fair though, Dennet was almost done and Ann just lend a hand with the final things.

 

 

\-----------------------------

 

 

Cassandra, Solas and Varric arrived at the gates of the grand city two days later. And Ann was in awe. The city was beautiful! Impressive! _And clean!_ It almost looked like the stones itself were sparkling in the sunlight. Cassandra had to gently push Ann to keep walking, or she would have stopped to stare at some of the nice architecture. _And the colors! So many colors!_

 

She didn't even notice some people were staring at their group in curiosity and fear. That changed though the further in the went, when it became more obvious that they were not welcome. Ann could practically feel their glares. Ann hoped the Chantry was not far, then they could get the meeting over with.

 

Instead, it turned out they would _not_ be meeting the grand clerics in the Chantry. No, they were waiting in the center of the city. In the middle of an angry crowd. With some templars to .. protect them? Maker have mercy! How was she ever going to address so many people!?! She never done this before, it might well be a visit card to kill her! Seriously, what were they doing here?!? Ann desperately wished that Cullen did send some soldiers with them after all.

 

Cassandra pushed forward however, determined to confront the grand clerics and completely ignoring Ann's nerves. Varric seemed tense, Solas almost disinterested, though he scanned the shadows for possible threats and Ann tried not to jump out of her skin at every whisper and glare send their way.

 

There were a _lot_ of people, all gathered in the middle of a market place. Ann's hands were shaking. One grand cleric was standing on a stage, trying to get everyone's attention, “Dear people from Val Royeaux, hear me! Together we mourn our Divine. Her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more!”, the cleric now looked at Ann in increasing anger.

 

“Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell! We say this is a false prophet! The Maker would send no elf in our hour of need!”

 

The crowd's voices rose in anger, clearly agreeing with what the cleric just said. Ann completely froze up in fear, her mind blank. Solas and Cassandra closed in to protect her, uneasy by how quickly things started to get out of control, while Varric tried to get people's attention “Now hold on a minute! JUST A MINUTE PLEASE! We are only here to stop the Breach in the sky! Come on now, we need to work together to stop it!”

 

Some of the people seem to reconsider, while others just shook their heads, trying to close in, calling them liars and demanding justice. Cassandra pushed some people further back, while keeping the other hand tightly on Ann's arm. There were so many people, so much _anger._ It was confusing, frightening, and Ann lost track of what was going on around her. It was happening so fast. Ann's gaze went from angry face to the next, until she noticed an old lady by one of the stands, looking right at her. She looked so hopeful, clearly frightened, but still determined to stay. The Herald wasn't sure _what_ that lady wanted to convey to her in that look, in her nods, nor what she was trying to say to her, but it somehow broke the paralyzing fear Ann found herself in.

 

“Stop”, Ann said, then cleared her throat and tried again, louder, “Stop this! We are only here to talk! You have nothing to fear from us!”. Miraculously, the people calmed down a bit, clearly curious as to what she was going to say next. The Seeker looked at her in surprise, but gave her room to continue her little speech, which she did (before she lost her nerve completely), “We are not here to start a fight, I'm not here for power or riches! I only care for us to close that Breach in the sky! It threatens us all, no matter who or what you are! We need to work together to stop it!”

 

Now the crowd murmured in confusion, somehow the bubble of anger broken, though anger was still there. How many people already lost their loved ones, Ann wondered, to demons or the Breach itself?

 

The Seeker added for good measure: “It's true! The Inquisition only wish to stop this before it is too late!”.

 

Some people now looked at the grand cleric for a response, while others tried to get a better look at her, clearly moved by the little speech.

 

Unfortunately, not everyone seemed convinced.

 

“It is already too late!”, and very dramatically (or at least it seemed like that to Ann), the Templars came into the large place, spreading out. The clerics seemed almost relieved. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this “Inquisition” and the people will be safe once more!”

 

Well, 'safe' apparently meant being knocked unconscious. Even though Ann didn't really like the grand cleric, such a display of violence was uncalled for. “What the hell -!?”, but then quickly stopped herself, stuttering awkwardly to a halt.

 

Now the Lord Seeker _himself_ turned towards her. If she ever though Master Dennet or Cassandra was scary, well, the Lord Seeker was a whole different kind of 'scary'. Ann didn't think anyone else could walk with such a straight spine, his chin high, barely making eye contact unless to glare. All in all, he seemed to think everyone and everything was beneath him, and that the Herald, _still and forever a slave_ , would address him was just a laughing matter. “Hah, her assumption of command is laughable, much like your own”, he eyed her now with a weird angry and hungry expression. He turned fast though, as though he could not bare to be in the presence of such _low_ standard people.

 

Cassandra did not seem to be scared, for she stepped forward, trying to keep pace with him. “Lord Seeker! It is imperative that we speak with-”.

 

His nose went high into the air, as though not believing her nerve. “You will not address me”

 

“Lord Seeker?”

 

He turned back at her, “Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste's prophet, you should be ashamed!”

 

Ann tried to suppress a flinch when his gaze flickered to her and back again. “You should all be ashamed! The templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages! You are the ones who have failed! You who'd leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear! If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late! The only destiny here that demands respect is mine!”

 

He was so full of himself and demanded such respect that Ann couldn't help but feel intimidated and slightly ashamed of herself. She frowned, staring at her feet, as though the Lord Seeker was right. But that didn't make any sense. Just because he said his points loud, clear and with such confidence doesn't make him right. Look at her own old Master, he was wrong all the time ...

 

Cassandra hesitated, unsure how to proceed for once. People started to murmur around them and Varric took a few (brave) steps forward, “Now, hold on a minute! There is no need to get so angry! We are all worried about the Breach here! We could at least try to do something about it, right?”.

 

The Lord Seeker somehow made himself a bit taller, somehow making the distinction between him and Varric all the more obvious. _Quite literally standing in the spotlight,_ Ann thought nervously. “Hah, we do care about closing the Breach, but we don't believe you can do anything about it!”, he snapped back at them.

 

One templar now shot in a question as though he could not stop himself, “But Lord Seeker, what if she really was sent by the Maker? What if-?”. The Lord Seeker gave him a dirty look, but his .. Lieutenant?.. stepped forward “You are called to a higher purpose! Do not question!”. _Do not question_ , as though he was property, not a human being. Ann looked at the scolded templar in pity and he looked at her and then to his superior in confusion. As though he was not used to being spoken to in such a way.

 

Ann felt uneasy, something was very wrong.

 

After a short speech of the Lord Seeker (as though he needed to have the last word), the templars marched away. It just didn't make any sense.

 

“Lovely fellow isn't he?”, Varric commented in a disappointing kinda voice. Cassandra just didn't seem to believe what just happened, “Has the Lord Seeker lost his mind!?”.

 

Ann gave a deep shuddering sigh. There went the whole idea of convincing the grand clerics. Instead, they had a shouting match with a bunch of lunatics and they haven't achieved anything. “Well, whatever he is, he sure has a high opinion of himself”, she put in softly, still aware of the many many people around them. She was still shaken from the whole experience.

 

“He wasn't always like that though”, the Seeker pressed, “I have known him long before he became the Lord Seeker. He didn't do his work for the glory or status. Something is very wrong”.

 

“Sooo .. now what?”, Varric wondered out loud, running a hand through his hair. Ann shrugged uncomfortably, while Solas was looking thoughtful. In the end, they decided to return to Haven, after talking with some of the people here.

 

The people around them were shocked, scared, angry even, but not at the Inquisition. No, not anymore, thank the Maker! Instead the talk of the day seemed to resonate around the fact that the templars just _left_ , and that nobody was doing anything about the Breach. For that reason alone, they got a lot of supporters from different angles. Ann's unease increased when they were approached by merchants, Chantry people, admirers, she even got a personal invitation to attend a salon party by Madam de Fer.

 

A. Personal. Invitation. From. Madame de Fer. Who might very well have been to one of her (former) Master's parties. Fuck. What if she recognized her!? What if she embarrassed the Inquisition again!?! WHAT IF THEY JUST DECIDED, OH WHAT THE HECK, LET'S KILL HER FOR THE FUN OF IT?!? What? WHAT?!? No, I'm not exaggerating, thank you very much!

 

Varric had to literally pry the letter from her fingers in order to read the message that got her so terrified, only to laugh loudly. Cassandra briskly told them all they were going to deal with it _later_ , when an arrow was shot near Ann's feet and she jumped behind Cassandra in terror. After some confusion, it turned out to be false alarm. Instead, it contained a note from Red Jenny. _The_ Red Jenny? It must be! Wow, she was finally going to meet her _in person!?!_

 

Maybe Red Jenny might be able to help with Madame de Fer as well! This was great! Everything would turn our right after all!

 

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

 

Turned out, 'Red Jenny' was not really a different word for 'Ann's savior'. She didn't even have red hair. No, it wasn't even _a person_. And one of her 'members' was a crazy, ready-to-kill ... elf?

 

When Sera practically _begged_ them to be a part of the Inquisition, _despite_ the fact that Ann was an elf, she just didn't have the heart to say no to her. And well, a member of Red Jenny would always be welcome to Ann, however crazy they may seem. At least they were _way_ better with a bow then Ann would ever be.

 

It was a bit of a disappointment though, she had expected someone else. Though what had she been expecting? Some kind of ready-made hero to save the day? Maybe... would turn in handy right about now. Maker knows how Ann was going to get through the meeting she would have with 'Madame de Fer' now ...

 

Luckily, Cassandra would not let her go alone. So, even though she wasn't invited, the Seeker insisted they would go together. “I _am_ of royal blood you know, they wouldn't dare to deny me entrance if you claim I am your honored companion or something”, she waved vaguely in the air with a deep scowl that clearly said 'or else'.

 

Varric looked amused, Solas just rose one eyebrow in mild skepticism, while Sera looked confused. “I don't get it, why would you even want to talk to her in the first place? She's just out there to get more influence! _Oh Herald of Andraste! What a nice pair we would make together!_ Bla-bla-bla, but seriously, let's just ignore this shit and go to Haven already! We got _important_ things to do!”

 

Ann looked at her like it was the best idea she had heard all day, but unfortunately the others would have none of that.

 

When Sera learned that her .. suggestion ... was not going to be followed up, she insisted on getting them 'proper cloths' for their soiree. “What's wrong with what I'm wearing?!?”, the Seeker demanded, while Varric was about ready to laugh, “Buttercup, have you seen your own clothing? Or .. lack of it at several places?”.

 

“Oh, these things? It happens during experiments yeah? Part of the job, and not _everyone_ is rich you know”, she turned towards Ann and Cassandra with a thinking posture. “Tell you what, I'll pull a few strings and you will have your things before the bla-bla-bla meeting tomorrow. But we do leave right after yeah?! We got stuff to do! Important stuff!”, she jabbed her finger towards the sky as though explaining things to a bunch of little kids.

 

Without waiting for a reaction she dashed off. “What the-, we didn't even discuss where we'll meet up!”, the Seeker growled in frustration, while Solas just scolded. Surprisingly, Ann didn't really mind. Better that at least _someone_ was doing something about this whole meeting. And dressing up didn't sound as such a bad idea. Those nobles had their opinion ready after just one glance. Would be good to make a good impression from the start.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

“Not to sound ungrateful”, Ann started carefully, “but you do know that these dresses are highly out of fashion at the moment? Not to mention, this one is .. a bit big”. That last part was an understatement, Ann didn't think they would make it to the soiree without the dress revealing a bit to much of her .. assets. She was also quite sure these dresses were the height of fashion about 10 years ago.

 

“Yeah, well, it was the best they had, it will do. These give a bit more breathing space, not those bulging pieces of fabric, claiming too much space and such. Anyway, how long would it take? 10 minutes tops right? You'll be fine!”, Sera said dismissively. Then she suddenly whispered in her ear “There are also some nice hidden pockets for sharpy things, in case there's trouble”, Sera winked at her.

 

Indeed there was, but still, it felt extremely awkward. The others also seemed unsure. Maybe they would have to go in armor after all? But no, that would insult a Red Jenny! Ann wasn't about to do that....

 

Instead, Ann checked the time nervously, it was still early afternoon, they had several hours still. Plenty of time to make adjustment, add a few .. highlights? Corrections? Sighing in defeat (and despair), Ann took the old fashion things upstairs, ignoring the questions send her way by Varric.

 

They had decided to take rooms at a local inn, though Sera had loudly complained about it. To be fair, Ann didn't like it either, but they didn't really have much choice in the matter. They could hardly camp outside and then go the soiree smelly and filthy. Plus, now Ann could at least work in private.

 

Ann worked fast, first making sure the dress wasn't about two sizes too big. Then, she quickly took the fabric she salvaged from the silky dress she had worn to the Conclave, cutting it in equally wide strips. They were lucky the colors matched nicely with the frilly dresses.

 

The Herald was midway into attaching the strips of silk to her own dress when Cassandra entered the room. The Seeker looked at the whole scene with raised eyebrows. “You know”, she began, closing the door behind her, “we could still go in armor if you prefer, we could-”. She stopped mid-sentence, as though reading Ann's fear from her face and not daring to make another comment. Cassandra's eyes again traveled over the adjustments the Herald had made so far and gave a sigh in defeat. “Never mind”, she muttered, kneeling next to her on the floor, “do you require any .. help?”.

 

Ann gave an unnaturally high little laugh, trying to conceal her nerves and panic. Help? No, she needed a miracle, but thanks anyway? She cleared her throat, trying to get a grip on herself again, while Cassandra was looking at her strangely. “Could you try this one on please?”, Ann said quickly, giving her the other dress. Pressing her lips together, the Seeker took the dress, looking as though it offended her personally, but after a few tries, she did put it on.

 

Ann quickly came around, adjusting it here and there. Luckily, this one did not seem to be overly big. Though she personally thought flowers were not really the Seeker's thing ... and judging from her expression, neither did she. “I can remove this one”, Ann said quickly, pointing to particularly big flower which was added for decoration, “and replace with something else, something less ...” she made a vague hand gesture, not sure what she was going to say. “Right, yes, that would be .. great”, Cassandra said uncertainly, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “You sure about this Herald?”, she asked her, somehow sounding fragile.

 

Looking at the Seeker in surprise, Ann did not answer immediately. Cassandra was always so self confident, strong willed and stubborn. It was weird to suddenly see her so.. insecure. “Well, I do think this is the right thing to do”, she finally said, looking over the dresses again. “I'm sure I can make these adjustments on time”. Though what the nobles would think of it, she didn't dare to guess.

 

Ann suddenly had to think how Josephine would react to all of this and had to suppress a shudder. Maker, hopefully she will not be overly disappointed.

 

“Well, at least we give it our best”, Cassandra commented, looking vaguely reassured.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I lost count how often I changed this chapter, somehow I couldn't get it right. Now I just posted it the way it was, feeling quite satisfied how it turned out. Let me know what you think!


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